Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
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