Robin Williams Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• Why do they call it "rush hour" when nothing moves?

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  "Fictional character: Mork". "Mork & Mindy/ Mork in Love", www.imdb.com. 1978.

• If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Quoted in Manly (Australia) Daily, 30 Mar. 2004

• What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

  Robin Williams

  Inspirational, Funny, Life
• 

  Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Life, Inspiration

• Comedy is acting out optimism.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Philosophy, Memorable

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
• 

  Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Money, Humor

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Single, Sexy

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

  Robin Williams

  Inspirational, Funny, Strong Women

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Baseball, Tired

• Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "Robin Williams's best-loved gags" by Richard Vine, www.theguardian.com. August 12, 2014.

• I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "Reality... What a Concept". Live comedy album by Robin Williams, 1979.

• The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Humor, Second Amendment

• Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Latin, Humor

• Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Beauty, Humor

• And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Mom, Jesus

• Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, "It's 5:00 in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time."

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Morning, Humor

  "A Night at the Met". Studio album by Robin Williams, August 9, 1986.

• I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is not so much comedy in Germany?' And I said, 'Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?'

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

• Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Motivational, Easter

• Reality: What a concept!

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Life, Memorable

• I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Wine, Humor

• I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Witty, Laughter

• We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Inspiration, Humor

• But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.

  Robin Williams

  Inspirational, Funny, Dream

• People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Memorable, Humor

• You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Sex, Humor

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