Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.
If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week
Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Congress what they should do. Lobbyists tell'em what they will do.
I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover didn’t know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night, anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow’s hands.
There is one guaranteed formula for failure, and that is to try to please everyone.
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don't take much to see that something is wrong, but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.
When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.
Common sense ain't common.
In all your life, you will never find a method more effective in getting through to another person than to make that person feel important.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.
Don't squat with your spurs on.
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