Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
Rail-splitting produced an immortal president in Lincoln, but golf hasn't produced even a good Congressman.
One thing I will say about the Germans, they are always perfectly willing to give somebody's land to somebody else
I have often said in answer to inquiries as to how I got away with kidding some of our public men, that it was because I liked all of them personally, and that if there was no malice in your heart there could be none in your "Gags", and I have always said I never met a man I dident like.
I am proud of the fact there is not a human being that I have got it in for. I never met a man I didn't like.
George Bernard Shaw of England stopped over just long enough to make one speech in Bombay, India, started a war and 100 Indians killed each other. That's what I call good speech-making. The only enthusiasm any of our speakers can rouse is a demand to kill the speaker.
We live in an age of 'urge'. We do nothing till somebody shoves us.
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