P. J. O'Rourke Quotes About House

Quotes about: House

• Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Mom, Baby

• Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Home, House, Coal

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.5, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• Government usually doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is political. People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs. The difference between the political process and an honest life is the difference between parading around waving picket signs while hollering catcalls in front of the White House and getting up in the morning to go make a living.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Wise, Morning, Jobs

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.198, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• I bought my first house because of Animal House.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Animal, House, Firsts

  Source: www.avclub.com

• In the wake of Animal House, the stock briefly and quite wrongly shot up. So I love that movie.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Animal, House, Shots

  Source: www.avclub.com

• In the wake of Animal House, all of us at the Lampoon had a lot of Hollywood opportunities. We could definitely get people to return phone calls.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Animal, Opportunity, Phones

  Source: www.avclub.com

• The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I've seen, ancient, filthy houses swarmed with the poor and stinking of sewage and trash. But there are worse parts - squatter areas where people live under cardboard, in shipping crates, behind tacked-up newspapers. Dad would march you straight to the basement with a hairbrush in his hand if he caught you keeping your hamster cage like this.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Dad, Real, Hands

  P. J. O'Rourke (2016). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .”, p.62, Pan Macmillan

• A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Party, Eight, Interesting

  P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

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