P. J. O'Rourke Quotes About Children

Quotes about: Children

• At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Philosophy, Useless

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Give War a Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice, and Alcohol-Free Beer”, p.22, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, America, Parent

• Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.124, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Grandmother, Rooms

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of P.J. O'Rourke”, p.14, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Baby, Children

  P. J. O'Rourke (1987). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, Pocket

• Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Death, Fathers Day, Children

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.117, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Mom, Mother, Children

• Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is just operating on a smaller scale and lacks the advantage of having made enormous soft-money campaign contributions to political candidates.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Humorous, Kids

  P. J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader”, p.722, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Baby, Children

  P. J. O'Rourke (1987). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, Pocket

• The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Sarcastic, Children, Food

• You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Family, Children, Growing Up

• Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Divorce, Pawns

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.123, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Children, Food

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.113, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Children, Mercy

• The real truth about children is they don't speak the language very well. They're physically uncoordinated. And they are ignorant of our elaborate ideas about right and wrong.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Real, Ideas

  "The Bachelor Home Companion. A practical guide to keeping house like a pig". Book by P. J. O'Rourke, 1986.

• Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Vegetables

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• That is the really great thing about being an adult male, once you get married and have children the whole decision-making process is taken out of your hands, and I for one am extremely grateful.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Taken, Grateful

  "PJ O'Rourke: 'Menus have become another intelligence test at which I fail'" by Tim Adams, www.theguardian.com. June 14, 2014.

• [T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were attacked because of child abuse. But, if child abuse was the issue, why didn't Janet Reno tear-gas Woody Allen?

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Country, Religious, Children

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut”, p.228, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have no life! No wife, no kids, no pets - there's no room in there for anything!

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Dog, Children, Kids

  Source: www.avclub.com

• [Friedrich] Hayek is not protesting that things like child labor and stuff are good. He's just trying to show that when government undertakes to make everything good for everybody, this is what happens. And he addresses it to socialists of all parties.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Party, Government

  Source: www.avclub.com

• Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people do not have basic freedoms, it wouldn't bug me to tax the living Dickens out of that thing or even to forbid its importation whatsoever. But that's a moral question, not an economic question.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Children, Shoes, People

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