P. J. O'Rourke Quotes About Cigarettes

Quotes about: Cigarettes

• You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Government, People, Liberty

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut”, p.228, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• Smoking cigarettes seems to alarm peace activists much more than voting for Reagan does.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Peace, Smoking, Voting

  P. J. O'Rourke (2016). “Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .”, p.48, Pan Macmillan

• Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Inspirational, Mom, Baby

• Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Coffee, Breakfast, Want

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.58, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• The morning meal was served in traditional socialist fashion - very slowly, with the courses out of order so that the jelly arrived half an hour after the toast and the coffee didn't come until we'd called for the check. However, it was hard to be angry at a place that had ice cream, beer, and cigarettes on its breakfast menu.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Fashion, Morning, Coffee

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty”, p.318, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

• A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Party, Eight, Interesting

  P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

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