You Might Be A Redneck If Quotes

• You might be a redneck if you have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Fridges

  Jeff Foxworthy (2005). “Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover: Or A Redneck Look at Fixing Up and Decorating Your House Without Loss of Limbs”, p.66, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Queens, Mean, Redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.97, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Shirts

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• You might be a redneck if you think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Moon, Thinking

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• You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Color, Ties

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• You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Love You, Redneck, Singing

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• You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Daddy

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• You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wall, Redneck, Wife

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• You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Limits

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• You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Paper, Toilets

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• You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Gourmet, Onions

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• You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Giving, Events

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• You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dad, Redneck, Keys

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• You might be a redneck if you're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Drinking, Beer, Redneck

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• You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Senior, Mother, Redneck

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• You might be a redneck if your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Class

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• You might be a redneck if Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Hair, Might

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• If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie", www.imdb.com. 2003.

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• You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Dining, Bottles

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• You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Party, Redneck, Teeth

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• You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Wife, Vienna

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• You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Shoes, Numbers

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.224, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Water, Might

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• If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mother, Kissing, Redneck

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• You might be a redneck if you have every episode of Hee Haw on tape.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Tape, Might

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