You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.
You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if you can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
You might be a redneck if you think that the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
You might be a redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
You might be a redneck if your parakeet knows the phrase Open up, Police!
You might be a redneck if you were shooting pool when your kids were born.
You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
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