Witty Quotes - Page 5

• I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

  Imelda Marcos

  Funny, Fashion, Humorous

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

  Paul Newman

  Sarcastic, Sarcasm, Black

  12 Copy quote

• You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

  Sacha Guitry

  Inspirational, Powerful, Humorous

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

  Gilda Radner

  Fashion, Funny Inspirational, Life And Love

  65 Copy quote

• The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie.

  Ann Landers

  Positive, Truth, Women

  Ann Landers (1996). “Wake Up and Smell the Coffee!: Advice, Wisdom, and Uncommon Good Sense”, Random House Large Print Publishing

  188 Copy quote

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• Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk.

  Joyce Brothers

  Hurt, Simple, Thinking

  47 Copy quote

• Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  64 Copy quote

• It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Humorous, Believe

  45 Copy quote

• The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

  Harry S. Truman

  Funny, Leadership, Dad

  Television interview by Edward R. Murrow, CBS, 27 May 1955

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• Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Laughter, Humorous

  27 Copy quote

• The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

  Gloria Leonard

  Sex, Humorous, Differences

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  53 Copy quote

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• In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

  55 Copy quote

• Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

  Mark Twain

  Music, Humorous, Profound

  Autobiography (published in 1924).

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• Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

  Elizabeth I

  Motivational, Anger, Men

  To Sir Edward Dyer, in T. Tenison (ed.) 'Baconiana' (1679) Apophthegm 5

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• Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

  Mae West

  Love, Funny, Anniversary

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

  96 Copy quote

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• It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Hilarious, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2013). “My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old: and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry”, p.100, Andrews McMeel Publishing

  94 Copy quote

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• Seduction is about intelligence and wit. Someone who makes me laugh has every chance to seduce me.

  Riccardo Tisci

  Sexy, Laughter, Laughing

  74 Copy quote

• When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  126 Copy quote

• It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Wise, Stupid, Humorous

  Man and Superman (1903) "Maxims for Revolutionists: Stray Sayings"

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• A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Inspirational, Funny, Laughter

  Everybody's Political What's What? ch. 30 (1944)

  156 Copy quote

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• Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

  W. C. Fields

  Love, Inspirational, Life

  78 Copy quote

• Vote early and vote often.

  Al Capone

  Powerful, Humorous, Voting

  75 Copy quote

• Laughter not only makes the journey endurable and even enjoyable, it also helps keep us healthy.... Be like a child: learn to laugh more!

  Joyce Meyer

  Laughter, Children, Journey

  37 Copy quote

• The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

  Mark Twain

  Humorous, Stories, Matter

  Mark Twain (2012). “Humorous Stories and Sketches”, p.70, Courier Corporation

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• Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Anniversary, Marriage

  H.L. Mencken “A little book in C major”, Рипол Классик

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