Legs Quotes - Page 29

• "Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Hurt, Humor

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• I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Men

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• When I go to the beach, my grandchildren try to make words out of the veins in my legs. That's why I still take the pill; I don't want any more grandchildren.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Beach, Humor

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• Do not let anyone tell you what you can be. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not good enough or smart enough. Remember that nobody is better than you. Everybody puts on their pants one leg at a time.

  Farrah Gray

  Smart, Not Good Enough, Pants

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• I'm not going to waste my energy looking into the eyes of someone like the guy who blew my legs off trying to find a way to forgive him for doing something that horrible when there are way more productive ways I could be spending my life. You've got to focus on moving on.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Moving, Eye, Focus

  Source: blogcritics.org

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• And the other was this: the doctor did want to take off my leg because he thought it was necessary. But you must remember boys in those days were raised for two things: work, and then they made their play; and if you couldn't play baseball and box and play football, why, your life was ended. That was in our boyish minds.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Sports, Baseball, Football

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• I think nobody would claim that random genetic drift is capable of producing adaptation, that is to say the illusion of design. Random genetic drift can't produce wings that are good at flying, or eyes that are good at seeing, or legs that are good at running. But random genetic drift probably is very important in driving evolution at the molecular genetic level.

  Richard Dawkins

  Running, Eye, Thinking

  "The Geek's Guide to the Galaxy" with John Joseph Adams and David Barr Kirtley, www.lightspeedmagazine.com. December 2011.

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• I'm a situational writer. You give me a situation, like a writer gets in a car crash, breaks his leg, is kidnapped by his number-one fan, and is kept in a cabin and forced to write a book - everything else springs from there. You really don't have to work once you've had the idea. All you have to do is kind of take dictation from something inside.

  Stephen King

  Spring, Book, Writing

  "A Rare Interview with Master Storyteller Stephen King". Interview with Ken Tucker, parade.com. May 25, 2013.

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• I was like one of the boys in school who flap their legs frantically under the desk. I always had this weird feeling between my legs and I had no idea what it was. I didn't know girls masturbated. I never touched myself or anything.

  Patti Smith

  Girl, School, Boys

  Source: www.oceanstar.com

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• You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.

  Bill Bailey

  Funny, Confused, Philosophical

  "Part Troll". Documentary, Comedy, Music, 2004.

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• Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

  Billy Connolly

  Funny, Morning, Humor

  26 Copy quote

• I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you!

  Chris Rock

  Funny, War, Humor

  "Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker". TV Special, www.imdb.com. July 10, 1999.

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• You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. "Snow blower, bottle of whiskey." You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? "Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy."

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Humor, Land

  "Comedy Central Presents: Dave Attell". Documentary, Comedy, 1999.

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• Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

  Milton Jones

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

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• What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish.

  Frank Carson

  Funny, Humor, Differences

  86 Copy quote

• A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"

  Tommy Cooper

  Funny, Humor, Men

  11 Copy quote

• I really started getting my body ready when I was a freshman in high school. I had just been skating so much, and just started getting so annoyed with leg hair and arm hair, because I was falling so much when I was learning. So I would get scabs on my legs, and the hair would get caught in it. It just became a nuisance. And from that point on, I continued to shave my arms and legs and tried to stay sleek.

  Ryan Sheckler

  Fall, School, Hair

  "Ryan Sheckler Talks Manscaping". Interview with Lucas Wisenthal, www.askmen.com.

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• I'm not a fan of capris. They actually shorten my legs.

  Eva Longoria

  Fans, Capri

  "Eva Longoria Parker Shows Her Sexy Side". Interview with Carole Radziwill, www.glamour.com. December 28, 2008.

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• I went to extreme measures to achieve my goals, from strapping heavy sandbags on my ankles, hopping on one leg, up and down four flights of stairs at 5 am to practice my turns in front of the candle light when others are asleep. I felt like that I had climbed many tall mountains and made so many impossible dreams come true through sheer determination, perseverance, passion, self conviction and belief.

  Li Cunxin

  Dream, Perseverance, Determination

  Source: tacdc.com.au

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• The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Eggs

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• I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you."

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Scotch

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• My legs tired, ain't your legs tired!? His legs ain't Tired! He Just... Tinktinktinktinktinktink, TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere!

  Katt Williams

  Funny, Tired, Humor

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• If you can just learn to think about the market first, you will have a big leg up on most people starting startups.

  Sam Altman

  Thinking, People, Firsts

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• After college I picked my races to be one race every two weeks. That gave me time to recover. I raced just as fast as my legs would carry me. At the end of every race there was nothing left. I walked off the track completely spent!

  Gerry Lindgren

  College, Race, Two

  Interview with Mick Grant, John Molvar, www.youthrunner.com. January 12, 2011.

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• I dare Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama to watch these tapes. Watch a former organ harvester describe a fully formed fetus on the table, its heart beating, its legs kicking while someone says we have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.

  Carly Fiorina

  Heart, Brain, Watches

  "Carly Fiorina Keeps Digging a Hole She Never Should Have Started" by Kevin Drum, www.motherjones.com. September 18, 2015.

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