Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Page 3

• Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

  Richard Roeper

  Christmas, Thanksgiving, Looks

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• Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Religious

  Ambrose Bierce (2016). “The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World”, p.226, 谷月社

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• The thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Heart

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• Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings.

  William Arthur Ward

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Thankfulness

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• There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Thanksgiving, Witty, Humorous

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• Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.

  Henry Van Dyke

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Kindness

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• You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

  Jay Leno

  Thanksgiving, Too Much, Happy Thanksgiving

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• There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

  Oscar Wilde

  Success, Knowledge, Two

  Oscar Wilde, General Press (2016). “The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde: Novel, Short Stories, Poetry, Essays and Plays”, p.819, GENERAL PRESS

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• I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

  Todd Barry

  Thanksgiving, Chickens, Chicken Nuggets

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• Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'

  Greg Proops

  Religious, World, Littles

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• For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

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• Praise God even when you don't understand what He is doing.

  Henry Jacobsen

  Thanksgiving, Difficult Times, Praise

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• 

  Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Positive, Thank You, Thanksgiving

  FaceBook post by Oprah Winfrey from Oct 03, 2011

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• On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.

  William Jennings Bryan

  Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Inspirational

  William Jennings Bryan, Mary Baird Bryan (1909). “Speeches of William Jennings Bryan”

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• Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

  Charles Dickens

  Inspirational, Happiness, Thanksgiving

  Charles Dickens (1839). “Sketches by Boz”, p.172

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• I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

  Oscar Wilde

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

  Oscar Wilde (2014). “The Wit and Wisdom of Oscar Wilde”, p.3, Courier Corporation

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• I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.

  Greg Behrendt

  Hurt, Turkeys, Feelings

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• Gluttony and surfeiting are no proper occasions for thanksgiving.

  Charles Lamb

  Thanksgiving, Gluttony, Occasions

  Charles Lamb (1867). “The essays of Elia. [Followed by] The last essays of Elia”, p.125

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• Reflect upon your present blessings

  Charles Dickens

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

  Charles Dickens (1868). “The Works of Charles Dickens”, p.211

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• We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.

  Epicurus

  Thanksgiving, Food, Beer

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• We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

  Albert Schweitzer

  Friendship, Thanksgiving, Thank You

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• All across America, we gather this week with the people we love to give thanks to God for the blessings in our lives.

  George W. Bush

  Thanksgiving, Blessing, America

  Bush's Thanksgiving Proclamation, www.foxnews.com. November 25, 2004.

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• Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things.

  Horace

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Being Thankful

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• The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need a job.'

  Conan O'Brien

  Jobs, Turkeys, California

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• I give thanks to my Creator for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means.

  Joseph B. Wirthlin

  Thanksgiving, Mean, Opportunity

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