Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Page 4

• We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.

  Albert C. Barnes

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Dark

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• He who thanks but with the lips. Thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving. Comes from the heart.

  John G. Shedd

  Thanksgiving, Christian, Appreciation

  "The Yale Book of Quotations". Book by Fred R. Shapiro, p. 705, 2006.

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• If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.

  W. Clement Stone

  Thanksgiving, Thankful, Gratitude

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• Thanksgiving. It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thanksgiving, People, Drunk

  "Beyond the Pale". Live album by Jim Gaffigan, www.npr.org. February 7, 2006.

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• What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

  Erma Bombeck

  Thanksgiving, Food, Mean

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.271, Open Road Media

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• Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thanksgiving, People, What If

  "Comedian Jim Gaffigan Shares How To Survive Holiday Political Debates". "All Things Considered" with Kelly McEvers, www.npr.org. November 23, 2016.

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• No One Diets on Thanksgiving.

  Erma Bombeck

  Diets

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist”, p.301, Open Road Media

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• Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.

  Theodore Roosevelt

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Grateful

  Theodore Roosevelt (2012). “Compilation of the Messages and Papers of the Presidents Section 2 (of 2) of Supplemental Volume: Theodore Roosevelt, Supplement”, p.91, tredition

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• I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.

  Kumail Nanjiani

  Thanksgiving, Friday, Wall

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• The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Inspirational, Happiness, Happy

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• All that we behold is full of blessings.

  William Wordsworth

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Kids

  William Wordsworth (2016). “Wordsworth: 'Daffodils' and Other Poems”, p.14, Michael O'Mara Books

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• Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.

  Seneca the Younger

  Thanksgiving, Gratitude, Appreciation

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• Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.

  William Shakespeare

  Thanksgiving, Cheer, Memorable

  William Shakespeare, Charles Symmons, John Payne Collier (1837). “The Dramatic Works of William Shakespeare”, p.131

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• Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

  Rita Rudner

  Sarcastic, Mother, Sarcasm

  FaceBook post by Rita Rudner from Nov 13, 2012

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• Some people are absolutely funny and you want to wish them Happy Thanksgiving in funniest way possible. Here is the list of Funny Thanksgiving sayings. Just chose the quote you want to wish that person. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.

  Jim Davis

  Thanksgiving, Zucchini, Vegetables

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