Funny Political Quotes - Page 3

• For NASA, space is still a high priority.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Science

  Esquire, Remarks to NASA employees, August 1992.

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• As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Believe, Stupid People

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Jul 06, 2012

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• If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.

  Harry S. Truman

  Funny, Hilarious, Dog

  "The Wit & Wisdom of Harry Truman".

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• I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Money, Stupid

  Ronald Reagan's joke at the Gridiron Club annual dinner, March 24, 1984.

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• Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Stupid People, Political

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Sep 29, 2011

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• I bring quadruple diversity to the Senate: I'm a woman; I'll be the first Asian woman ever to be elected to the U.S. Senate; I am an immigrant; I am a Buddhist. When I said this at one of my gatherings, they said, 'Yes, but are you gay?' and I said, 'Nobody's perfect.'

  Mazie Hirono

  Buddhist, Gay, Government

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• Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Evil, Political, Wish

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 56

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• I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Phoenix

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Usa, Comedian

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Apr 18, 2012

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• The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Baby, Jesus

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Dec 13, 2012

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• To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.

  Andy Borowitz

  Republican, Mark, Romney

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Apr 14, 2012

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• All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Mourning, Independence

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Jul 25, 2012

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• Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

  George W. Bush

  Inspirational, Funny, Political

  Attributed to George W. Bush in Associated Press interview in Los Angeles Times, October 30, 1988.

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• On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Anniversary, 4th Of July

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Jul 05, 2012

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• REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Learning, Popular Vote, Law

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.195, University of Georgia Press

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• If the right to vote were expanded to seven year olds … its policies would most definitely reflect the ‘legitimate concerns’ of children to have ‘adequate’ and ‘equal’ access to ‘free’ french fries, lemonade and videos.

  Hans-Hermann Hoppe

  Funny, Children, Rights

  Hans-Hermann Hoppe (2011). “DemocracyThe God That Failed: The Economics and Politics of Monarchy, Democracy, and Natural Order”, p.95, Transaction Publishers

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• Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!

  Bill Maher

  Confidence, Gay, Usa

  Twitter post from Feb 20, 2012

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• Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Running, Political

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Oct 05, 2011

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• Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Government, Comedian

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Aug 06, 2012

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• I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.

  John F. Kerry

  Nice, Names, Two

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• I see light at the end of the tunnel.

  Walt Whitman Rostow

  Positive, Humor, Vegas

  Walt Whitman Rostow (1955). “Russia and China Under Communism”

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• If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.

  Jon Stewart

  Funny, Usa, America

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• You could not possibly maintain the current level of government taxation without the taxes being hidden, and they are hidden in two very different ways. They are hidden through withholding, but they are also hidden by being imposed on business, supposedly on business, when really, of course, business can't pay taxes, only people can pay taxes.

  Milton Friedman

  Government, Two, People

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• I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.

  Bill Maher

  Believe, Doe, Needs

  Twitter post from Oct 04, 2012

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• Didn't we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they'll soon be debating slavery.

  Andy Borowitz

  Slavery, Action, Settling

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Feb 26, 2012

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