Funny Political Quotes - Page 2

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  A businessman cannot force you to buy his product; if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he takes the loss. If bureaucrat makes a mistake, you suffer the consequences; if he fails, he passes the loss on to you.

  Ayn Rand

  Mistake, Suffering, Businessman

  "The Ayn Rand Lexicon: Objectivism from A to Z".

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• The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Hilarious, Fools Day

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  165 Copy quote

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• A fool and his money are soon elected.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Money

  79 Copy quote

• He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcastic, Thinking, Careers

  Major Barbara (1907) act 3

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• It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Money, Nice

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Jul 09, 2012

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• Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

  Plato

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  250 Copy quote
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  When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.

  Clarence Darrow

  Funny, Sarcastic, Believe

  Quoted in Irving Stone, Clarence Darrow for the Defense (1941)

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• When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal.

  Richard M. Nixon

  Silly, Mean, Political

  Television interview by David Frost, 19 May 1977

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• It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

  George W. Bush

  Inspirational, Money, Numbers

  "The misunderestimated president" by John O'Farrell, www.theguardian.com. January 19, 2001.

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• I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

  Charles de Gaulle

  Life, Political, Politics

  Quoted in Clement Attlee, A Prime Minister Remembers (1961) See Briand 2; Clemenceau 4

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• Did you hear that we're writing Iraq's new Constitution?
  Why not just give them ours? We're not using it anymore.

  Jay Leno

  Writing, Usa, Iraq

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• Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.

  John Quinton

  Funny, Tunnels, Light

  49 Copy quote

• A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.

  Franklin D. Roosevelt

  Clever, Men, Perfectly Good

  81 Copy quote

• I've been a politician and so I'm sometimes cynical about what politicians won't do. When I hear a politician say something that makes no sense whatsoever, I think there's one of two things there: There's money or the promise of money.

  Allan Boesak

  Money, Thinking, Two

  Source: reflections.yale.edu

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• Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

  George W. Bush

  Witty, Nature, Children

  "You've been a great audience ..." by Oliver Burkeman, www.theguardian.com. January 7, 2009.

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• Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

  Douglas Adams

  Funny, Jobs, Responsibility

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Fit the Twelfth" (radio program) (1980) See Twain 14

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  I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

  Tallulah Bankhead

  Party, Thinking, America

  Tallulah Bankhead (1952). “Tallulah: My Autobiography”, p.282, Univ. Press of Mississippi

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• A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

  Edward Abbey

  Inspirational, Country, Freedom

  Edward Abbey (2015). “A Voice Crying in the Wilderness”, p.17, RosettaBooks

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• Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side

  Thomas Sowell

  Sarcastic, Giving, Sides

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• To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

  Demetri Martin

  Talking, Trying, About Yourself

  Twitter post from Aug 29, 2012

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• I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

  Marty Feldman

  Funny, Life, Food

  "He Who Laughs Lasts". Book by Shawn Lovley (p. 51), March 2001.

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• If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

  Jon Stewart

  Strong, Political, Comedian

  "s Jon Stewart’s brilliant appearance on Egypt’s version of ‘The Daily Show’". www.washingtonpost.com. June 25, 2013.

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• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Funny, Witty, Truth

  27 Copy quote

• Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

  George W. Bush

  Country, Witty, Peace

  George W. Bush “Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States, George W. Bush, 2004, Book 2, July 1 to September 30, 2004”, Government Printing Office

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• It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Witty, Stupid

  31 Copy quote