You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.
Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.
Money can't buy poverty.
Could be worse... Could be raining
I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.
Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.
Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.
I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.
I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.
He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.
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