You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.
Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper.
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward.
In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.
To give yourself the best possible chance of playing to your potential, you must prepare for every eventuality. That means practice.
I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me.
The woods are full of long drivers.
Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt.
Golf isn't like other sports where you can take a player out if he's having a bad day. You have to play the whole game.
Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood.
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
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