Funny Golfing Quotes - Page 2

• I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

  Bob Hope

  Golf, Play, Age

  18 Copy quote

• Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.

  Tommy Bolt

  Golf, Break, Drivers

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• There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

  Lee Trevino

  Golf, Play, Two

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• Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies.

  Bobby Jones

  Lying, Golf, Games

  "Bobby Jones said play the ball as it lies. Tiger Woods has done just that", www.theguardian.com. February 20, 2010.

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• May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

  Ben Hogan

  Lying, Golf, Water

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• One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

  Mac O'Grady

  Golf, Bleeding, Next

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• Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.

  Jack Nicklaus

  Golf, Air, Years

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• Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Golf, Long Walks, Two

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.265, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Golf, Bags, Woods

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• My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

  Keith Michael

  Golf, Mind, Body

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• Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

  Bob Hope

  Sports, Golf, Player

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• If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.

  Paul Gallico

  Golf, Men, Handicaps

  Paul Gallico (2015). “Farewell to Sport”, p.165, Open Road Media

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• Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

  Tommy Bolt

  Funny, Dirty, Golf

  "Golf: The Game of Lessening Failures". Book by Bob Glanville, 2010.

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• Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

  Winston Churchill

  Golf, Pills, Cows

  Winston Churchill (1987). “The Irrepressible Churchill: Stories, Sayings and Impressions of Sir Winston Churchill”, London : Robson Books

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• Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

  Earl Wilson

  Disappointment, Golf, Broken

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• The harder you work, the luckier you get.

  Gary Player

  Inspirational, Motivational, Work

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• The better your attitude and the harder you work, the luckier you get.

  Robert G. Allen

  Attitude, Wrestling, Golf

  Robert G. Allen (2006). “Creating Wealth: Retire in Ten Years Using Allen's Seven Principles of Wealth”, p.16, Simon and Schuster

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• I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sports, Hate

  Quoted in Michael HobbsThe Golf Quotation Book (1992).

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• These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

  Sam Snead

  Dirty, Golf, Gold

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• Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.

  Sam Snead

  Sports, Golf, Hazards

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• I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.

  Gerald R. Ford

  Dirty, Golf, Eagles

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• My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

  George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

  Golf, Swings, Practice

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• The more I practice, the luckier I get.

  Jerry Barber

  Sports, Volleyball, Golf

  46 Copy quote

• Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.

  Ernie Banks

  Baseball, Character, Golf

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• Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.

  Robin Williams

  Golf, Men, White Man

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