Funny Golfing Quotes - Page 3

They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it.

Tommy Bolt

Distance, Golf, Clubs

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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Bob Hope

Funny, Hope, Golf

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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

Joan Rivers

Golf, Funny Golf, Great Golf

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Golf is a better game played downhill.

Jack Nicklaus

Golf, Games, Funny Golf

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I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.

Don Adams

Golf, Balls, Today

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One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

George Archer

Golf, Play, Funny Golf

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I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf, Three, Fear Of Death

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Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

A. A. Milne

Golf, Games, World

A. A. Milne (2012). “Not That it Matters”, p.22, The Floating Press

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I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf, Missing, Helping

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The more you play it the less you know about it.

Patty Berg

Golf, Play, Knows

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Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't the slightest idea how to play.

Gary Player

Golf, Years, Games

"The Gigantic Book of Golf Quotations". Book edited by Jim Apfelbaum, 2007.

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Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses...

Adlai Stevenson I

Funny, Golf, Church

"The Political Thought of Adlai E. Stevenson" by William Robert Latimer, (p. 89), 1955.

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If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

Joey Lauren Adams

Golf, Advice, Watches

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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Mark Twain

Funny, Sports, Inspiration

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One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot - the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into something.

Peter Jacobsen

Golf, Cycle Of Life, Next Day

60 Copy quote
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

Brian Weiss

Golf, Long, Tree

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Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

Peter Dobereiner

Fun, Golf, Half

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The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

P. G. Wodehouse

Butterfly, Golf, Upset

P. G. Wodehouse (2011). “The Clicking of Cuthbert”, p.128, The Floating Press

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It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

Robert Wilson Lynd

Sports, Golf, World

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Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

Jimmy Demaret

Sex, Golf, Enjoy

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I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

Joe E. Lewis

Funny, Golf, Play

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The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

Ben Hogan

Sports, Golf, Needs

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If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Lee Trevino

Sports, Golf, Iron

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Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.

Alex Hay

Funny, Inspiring, Golf

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Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.

Ben Hogan

Golf, Hair, Swings

Ben Hogan (2010). “Power Golf”, p.11, Simon and Schuster

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