Funny Golfing Quotes

• They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.

  Ray Floyd

  Funny, Taken, Golf

  45 Copy quote

• I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

  Lee Trevino

  Dirty, Golf, Games

  Quoted in Scholastic Coach,'Coaches' Corner', Dec 1982.

  65 Copy quote

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• My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

  Lee Trevino

  Golf, Swings, Lunch

  86 Copy quote
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  I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.

  Arnold Palmer

  Sports, Perseverance, Determination

  80 Copy quote

• I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.

  Arnold Palmer

  Golf, Games, Strokes

  11 Copy quote
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  What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.

  Arnold Palmer

  Inspirational Sports, Art, Athlete

  Arnold Palmer (2016). “A Life Well Played: My Stories”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

  50 Copy quote

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• Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.

  Arnold Palmer

  Motivational, Sports, Golf

  FaceBook post by Arnold Palmer from Oct 04, 2016

  31 Copy quote

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• You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

  Lee Trevino

  Sports, Husband, Golf

  75 Copy quote

• Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

  Lee Trevino

  Real, Golf, Hands

  53 Copy quote

• There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.

  Lee Trevino

  Sports, Perseverance, Golf

  47 Copy quote

• Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

  Lee Trevino

  Dirty, Golf, Gold

  15 Copy quote

• Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

  John Updike

  Children, Dirty, Golf

  John Updike (2011). “Golf Dreams: Writings on Golf”, p.148, Random House

  9 Copy quote

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• The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.

  H. G. Wells

  Beauty, Golf, Men

  H. G. Wells (2015). “Delphi Complete Works of H. G. Wells”, p.4845, Delphi Classics

  24 Copy quote

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• If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

  Dean Martin

  Retirement, Drinking, Book

  "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

  147 Copy quote

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  I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.

  Gerald R. Ford

  Funny, Sports, Golf

  8 Copy quote

• The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

  Phyllis Diller

  Retirement, Real, Golf

  16 Copy quote

• I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Sports, Golf, Guitar

  Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

  8 Copy quote

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• I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.

  Arnold Palmer

  Sports, Perseverance, Golf

  11 Copy quote

• The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

  Billy Graham

  Sports, Prayer, Golf

  Billy Graham (2013). “Quotes from Billy Graham: A Legacy of Faith”, p.143, B&H Publishing Group

  8 Copy quote

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• It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.

  Arnold Palmer

  Funny, Sports, Golf

  FaceBook post by Arnold Palmer from Oct 04, 2016

  79 Copy quote

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• Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.

  Paul Harvey

  Writing, Golf, Games

  13 Copy quote

• Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

  Jim Bishop

  Funny, Retirement, Native American

  14 Copy quote

• Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

  Jack Benny

  Beautiful, Sports, Golf

  36 Copy quote

• My father's saying, The harder you work, the luckier you get.

  Fiona Wood

  Education, Father, Learning

  11 Copy quote

• This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.

  Ben Hogan

  Golf, Winning, Games

  10 Copy quote