Funny Golf Quotes

Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

Brian Tracy

Motivational, Perseverance, Work

87 Copy quote
I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win.

Arnold Palmer

Sports, Perseverance, Determination

81 Copy quote
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

A. A. Milne

Golf, Games, World

A. A. Milne (2012). “Not That it Matters”, p.22, The Floating Press

12 Copy quote

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They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.

Gardner Dickinson

Believe, Golf, Complicated

9 Copy quote
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Lee Trevino

Golf, Swings, Lunch

86 Copy quote
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.

Dave Marr

Golf, Three, Shots

45 Copy quote
Forget your opponents; always play against par.

Sam Snead

Golf, Play, Focus

70 Copy quote
Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

Bob Hope

Hope, Golf, Games

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Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.

Sam Snead

Sports, Golf, Hazards

58 Copy quote
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

George Deukmejian

Funny, Lying, Golf

49 Copy quote
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

Ben Hogan

Sports, Golf, Needs

58 Copy quote
One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

Mac O'Grady

Golf, Bleeding, Next

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Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

Tiger Woods

Basketball, Sports, Sexy

145 Copy quote
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Lee Trevino

Sports, Golf, Iron

61 Copy quote
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.

Arnold Palmer

Inspirational Sports, Art, Athlete

Arnold Palmer (2016). “A Life Well Played: My Stories”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

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I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

Lee Trevino

Dirty, Golf, Games

Quoted in Scholastic Coach,'Coaches' Corner', Dec 1982.

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Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

Bob Hope

Sports, Golf, Player

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If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

Sam Snead

Sports, Golf, Knives

37 Copy quote
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

Brian Weiss

Golf, Long, Tree

8 Copy quote
You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.

Sam Snead

Golf, Balls, Problem

31 Copy quote
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

Hank Aaron

Funny, Sports, Baseball

62 Copy quote
It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.

Arnold Palmer

Funny, Sports, Golf

FaceBook post by Arnold Palmer from Oct 04, 2016

79 Copy quote

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I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf, Missing, Helping

7 Copy quote
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

Rick Reilly

School, Golf, Games

45 Copy quote
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.

Ben Hogan

Golf, Persistence, Games

9 Copy quote