Duct Tape Quotes

• Most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords.

  Jase Robertson

  Tape, Dynasty, Fixed

  59 Copy quote

• Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and it holds the world together.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  11 Copy quote

• Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Tape, Fundamentals

  59 Copy quote

• Duct tape is not a perfect solution to anything. But with a little creativity, in a pinch, it's an adequate solution to just about everything.

  Jamie Hyneman

  Creativity, Perfect, Tape

  16 Copy quote

• A smile and a laugh are the duct tape of life; they can fix anything.

  Mike Wallace

  Motivational, Laughing, Tape

  8 Copy quote

• Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.

  Andy Weir

  Magic, Tape, Should

  "The Martian". Book by Andy Weir, 2014.

  7 Copy quote

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• All solutions are temporary, so why not go for duct tape?

  Garrison Keillor

  Tape, Why Not, Solutions

  15 Copy quote

• I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, 'Damn, that TV has 500 channels.' When I got older, it didn't have 500 channels - it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees.

  Felipe Esparza

  Dad, Home, Degrees

  11 Copy quote

• Parents are supposed to give the child back to herself with love. If they've got duct tape over their eyes because of narcissism, it doesn't happen.

  Jane Fonda

  Children, Eye, Giving

  17 Copy quote

• I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South?

  Johnny Knoxville

  Men, Trying, Tape

  "Jackass". Action, Comedy, Reality-TV, www.imdb.com. (2000–2002).

  9 Copy quote

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• When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.--T-SHIRT

  Darynda Jones

  Tape, Want, Opinion

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”, p.186, Macmillan

  29 Copy quote

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• Such a bad mistake it would be, to embark on marriage and adult life without a nice supply of duct tape.

  Nancy Werlin

  Mistake, Nice, Adults

  4 Copy quote

• When's the last time you used duct tape on a duct?

  Larry Wall

  Time, Tape, Lasts

  "Perl, the first postmodern computer language" by Larry Wall, www.perl.com. March 9, 1999.

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• We are in a code orange. Homeland Security said earlier today that everyone should have a roll of duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect your house in event of terrorist attacks. Who came up with this idea? MacGyver?

  Jay Leno

  Should Have, Ideas, Orange

  4 Copy quote

• Lone women shouldn't stop in the middle of nowhere for giant unkempt strangers with duct tape on their faces.

  Lee Child

  Giants, Tape, Middle Of Nowhere

  Lee Child (2015). “The Essential Jack Reacher, Volume 2, 6-Book Bundle: 61 Hours, Worth Dying For, The Affair, A Wanted Man, Never Go Back, Personal”, p.599, Delacorte Press

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• Why would we ever want to go back when your world is so accommodating with your telephones and your guns and what's that sticky stuff called ...duct tape.

  Cornelia Funke

  Gun, World, Want

  13 Copy quote

• Once you duct-tape a Ziploc bag to a man's chest, there's no going back.

  Orson Scott Card

  Men, Tape, Bags

  "Treasure Box". Book by Orson Scott Card, August 1996.

  4 Copy quote

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• People who leave their cars on the street with tape covering their broken windows are obviously too trusting. I mean, when your car did have glass for a window, someone broke into it. How is tape any more of a deterrent? What are the thieves going to say? Ooh, that like looks like duct tape, we can't beat that. Let's look for one with scotch or masking.

  Aaron Karo

  Mean, Scotch, Glasses

  8 Copy quote

• You can never have too much money.

  Jess C Scott

  Beach, Too Much, Garlic

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• You can never have too much sky.

  Sandra Cisneros

  Beach, Sky, Flipping A Coin

  Sandra Cisneros (2013). “The House on Mango Street”, p.50, Vintage

  74 Copy quote

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• Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?

  Craig Kilborn

  Yellow, Orange, Tape

  4 Copy quote

• I can't stop some idiot from crashing into a building or blowing up a bus, I can only be your dad and give you a few pure truths. Number one, duct tape will save your life. Number two, Tupac is alive, but I need you to keep that on the DL because of Suge. And number three, don't be afraid of anything - except the television news because they're lying to you every night.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Lying, Night

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Part of any serious QA is removing Perl code the same way you go over a dilapidated building you inherit to remove chewing gum and duct tape and fix whatever was kept together for real.

  Erik Naggum

  Real, Together, Tape

  Re: can lisp do what perl does easily? (Usenet article), groups.google.com. March 23, 2000.

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• Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker.

  David Letterman

  Water, Drunk, Doe

  6 Copy quote

• I'm being accused of being a murderer! I'M being ACCUSED of being a molester!... They say my idea of a fun day is a dark lonely field and the urunj of a car, and a large stick and a roll of duct tape! My MOM shops at Wal-Mart! She gets calls all the time now; she's worried about me! I'm not the most emotionally stable guy in the world; I'll admit that... I do have some problems, but my God, I'm not a murderer!

  Al Snow

  Mom, Lonely, Fun

  7 Copy quote