Beard Quotes - Page 8

• "If you paid me for work," continued Max, whose rhetoric was more sophisticated than you might expect from a man with food in his beard, "I wouldn't have to feel worthless. There's not law says old people have to feel worthless all the while, you know. You paid me, I'd have some dignity." Now it was Mile's turn to nod and smile agreeably. "I think the dignity ship set sail a long time ago, Dad."

  Richard Russo

  Dad, Men, Thinking

  "Empire Falls". Book by Richard Russo, May 8, 2001.

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• My Lord, I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offense against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fir which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornement for a human face. Is it possible that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat? -Mandorallen

  David Eddings

  Mother, Dog, Past

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• Growing up in Alaska, they don't really teach you to swim there. I learned to swim just a few summers ago with Olympic gold medalist Amanda Beard. She did great, and right after that I went to get scuba certified. I had fun with it. I didn't really get scared, but some people thought that was a risk.

  Holly Madison

  Summer, Growing Up, Fun

  "Interview: Oregon's own reality star Holly Madison talks about 'Dancing'". Interview with Jake Ten Pas, www.oregonlive.com. March 20, 2009.

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• A good leg will fall; a straight back will stoop; a black beard will turn white; a curl'd pate will grow bald; a fair face will wither; a full eye will wax hollow: but a good heart, Kate, is the sun and the moon; or, rather, the sun, and not the moon, — for it shines bright, and never changes, but keeps his course truly.

  William Shakespeare

  Fall, Heart, Eye

  "William Shakespeare: The Complete Works".

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• By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!

  Craig Ferguson

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• So here’s where they put you. I didn’t think they even used these cells anymore.” He glanced sideways. “I got the wrong window at first. Gave your friend in the next cell something of a shock. Attractive fellow, what with the beard and the rags. Kind of reminds me of the street folk back home.

  Cassandra Clare

  Home, Thinking, Cells

  Cassandra Clare (2010). “City of Glass”, p.150, Simon and Schuster

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• Merlin’s beard, Harry, you made me jump,” said Slughorn, stopping dead in his tracks and looking wary. “How did you get out of the castle?” “I think Filch must’ve forgotten to lock the doors,” said Harry cheerfully, and was delighted to see Slughorn scowl.

  J. K. Rowling

  Thinking, Doors, Track

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• Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.

  Louise Rennison

  Desks, Rosie, Please

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• Who are you writing to, Linus?" "This is the time of year to write to the Great Pumpkin. On Halloween Night, the Great Pumpkin rises out of his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys for all the children!" "You must be crazy! When are you going to stop believing in something that isn't true?" "When *you* stop believing in that fellow with a red suit and the white beard who goes, 'Ho, ho, ho!'" "We're obviously separated by denominational differences.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Children, Halloween, Crazy

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• i thrive best hermit style. with a beard and a pipe.

  Bjork

  Style, Hermits, Thrive

  Song: Unison, Album: Vespertine, 2001

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• It is easy to sympathize at a distance,' said an old gentleman with a beard. 'I value more the kind word that is spoken close to my ear.

  E. M. Forster

  Distance, Gentleman, Ears

  E. M. Forster (2010). “A Passage to India”, p.35, RosettaBooks

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• The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.

  David Sedaris

  Christmas, Years, Evening

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• If you mean you think it is my job to go into the secret passage first, O Thorin Thrain’s son Oakenshield, may your beard grow ever longer,” he said crossly, “say so at once and have done!

  J. R. R. Tolkien

  Jobs, Mean, Son

  J.R.R. Tolkien (2012). “The Hobbit”, p.114, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• At least we both know how shitty the world is. You wearing a beard as a mask to disguise it. I wearing my tired smile. I don't see how you do it. One hundred thousand university students marching with you. Toward A necessity which is not love but is a name.

  Jack Spicer

  Tired, University Students, Names

  Jack Spicer, Peter Gizzi, Kevin Killian (2008). “My Vocabulary Did this to Me: The Collected Poetry of Jack Spicer”, p.426, Wesleyan University Press

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• Burn, burn tree and fern! Shrivel and scorch! A fizzling torch To light the night for our delight, Ya hey! Bake and toast ‘em, fry and roast ‘em! till beards blaze, and eyes glaze; till hair smells and skins crack, fat melts, and bones black in cinders lie beneath the sky! So dwarves shall die, and light the night for our delight, Ya hey! Ya-harri-hey! Ya hoy!

  J. R. R. Tolkien

  Lying, Eye, Night

  J.R.R. Tolkien (2012). “The Hobbit”, p.60, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• O! Where are you going With beards all a-wagging? No knowing, no knowing What brings Mister Baggins, And Balin and Dwalin down into the valley in June ha! ha!

  J. R. R. Tolkien

  June, Knowing, Valleys

  J.R.R. Tolkien (2012). “The Hobbit”, p.25, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• I feel I owe you another explanation Harry," said Dumbledore hesitantly. "You may, perhaps, wondered why I never chose you as a prefect? I must confess...that I rather thought...you had enough responsibility to be going on with." Harry looked up at him and saw a tear trickling down Dumbledore's face into his long silver beard.

  J. K. Rowling

  Responsibility, Long, Tears

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• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Glue

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• For me [Patriarchs] exist. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob exist today. They are people that you see with white beards. I have no doubt of their existence.

  Elie Wiesel

  White, People, Doubt

  Source: www.biblicalarchaeology.org

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• If I had to choose between the two ways of approaching the deity, I should prefer the existential relational way, to the abstract philosophical way. I think it is truer, or in any case, less misleading, to say that God is an old Jew with a white beard whom I love, than to say that God is the ground of being and meaning, or to say that God is a name denoting the ultimate mystery. I prefer the bold primitive colors of the Biblical way of describing God.

  Frank Moore Cross

  Philosophical, Biblical, Thinking

  Source: www.biblicalarchaeology.org

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• Give me women, wine and snuff
  Until I cry out 'hold, enough!'
  You may do so san objection
  Till the day of resurrection;
  For bless my beard then aye shall be
  My beloved Trinity.

  John Keats

  Wine, Giving, May

  John Keats, “Give Me Women, Wine, And Snuff”

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• Except during my childhood, when I was probably influenced by Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel depiction of God with a flowing white beard, I have never tried to project the Creator in any kind of human likeness. The vociferous debates about whether God is male or female seem ridiculous to me. I think of God as an omnipotent and omniscient presence, a spirit that permeates the universe, the essence of truth, nature, being, and life. To me, these are profound and indescribable concepts that seem to be trivialized when expressed in words.

  Jimmy Carter

  God, Thinking, Essence

  Jimmy Carter (2011). “Living Faith”, p.222, Three Rivers Press

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• With The Host, I think the actors could be really big names. That would be cool. Id love to see Robert Redford put on a beard and be Jeb; he would be amazing... Matt Damon has some very Jared-esque qualities, and then Casey Affleck as Ian and Ben Affleck as Kyle. Imagine the interplay.

  Stephenie Meyer

  Thinking, Names, Quality

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• In their censures of luxury the fathers are extremely minute and circumstantial; and among the various articles which excite their pious indignation, we may enumerate false hair, garments of any colour except white, instruments of music, vases of gold or silver, downy pillows, white bread, foreign wines, public salutations, the use of warm baths, and the practice of shaving the beard, which, according to Tertullian, is a lie against our own faces, and am impious attempt to improve the works of the Creator.

  Edward Gibbon

  Lying, Father, Wine

  Edward Gibbon (1854). “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire”, p.44

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• Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?

  Tom Armstrong

  Funny, Christmas, Cities

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