Jimmy Fallon Quotes About House

Quotes about: House

• This week a man was arrested for jumping over the White House fence and trying to spray paint a political message. If that guy really wanted to get a message to the president, he could have just written it in an email to literally anyone.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Men, Jumping, White

• Tomorrow President Obama will host NASCAR racing champion Kevin Harvick at the White House. They both said they look forward to spending an hour or two not having the slightest interest in what the other is saying.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Nascar Racing, Two, White

• There are reports that leaders from ISIS and al-Qaida met at a farm house in Syria last week, and agreed to work together against their common enemies. That story again: Two radical terrorist groups managed to do what two American political parties cannot.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Party, Isis, Two

• I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. 'What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What's going' - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I'd just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Talking, People, House

• A group called Draft Biden 2016 has started selling bumper stickers that say 'I'm ridin' with Biden.' It's a lot better than the other one that women around the White House have started using - 'I'm hidin' from Biden.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  White, House, Groups

• Now that the midterm elections are over, President Obama has invited congressional leaders from both parties to a meeting at the White House tomorrow. When asked if he's nervous, Obama said, 'Oh, I'm not going to be there. I just invited them over. They can figure it out themselves.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Party, White, House

• A massive power outage in Washington, D.C., today affected a number of federal buildings, including the White House. When asked when they could restore power to the White House, officials said, '2016?'

  Jimmy Fallon

  White, Numbers, House

• The big news is the midterm elections. Last night Republicans picked up a dozen seats in the House to give them their biggest majority since World War II. Or as they put it, 'Time to party like it's 1939!'

  Jimmy Fallon

  War, Party, Night

• Jeb Bush gave a speech yesterday. He had a pretty rough time. He accidentally said that ISIS has 200,000 men instead of 20,000, and then he mispronounced the name of the terrorist group Boko Haram. So if history has taught us anything, Jeb is well on his way to winning the White House.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Winning, Men, Isis

• The White House announced that President Obama will attend a summit in Kenya this July. When asked if he's ever been to Kenya, Obama said, 'Of course. I was born - no, bored - over there. There's nothing to do in Kenya.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  July, White, Bored

• President Obama spent Election Day away from any press coverage, attending closed-door meetings inside the White House. But on the bright side, it is nice to see some doors actually closed at the White House. It's a whole new Secret Service security thing.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Nice, Doors, White

• During a recent event at a restaurant called Tommy's Country Ham House in South Carolina, presidential candidate Ben Carson delivered a speech right after he lost his front tooth. Which still left him with more teeth than everyone combined at Tommy's Country Ham House.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Country, Presidential, House

• Apparently, the Obamas chose New York City because they've gotten so used to people trying to break into their house.

  Jimmy Fallon

  New York, Cities, People

• The White House is apparently pushing to create more Latino-themed landmarks. Now that's in addition to our current Latino-themed landmark, California.

  Jimmy Fallon

  California, White, House

• The White House encouraged Tom Brady to be more of a role model. They would've said more, but there was a drunken Secret Service agent streaking across the Rose Garden.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Garden, White, Rose

• Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they'll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, 'I didn't even know they were dating.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  White, Yesterday, Dating

• The White House announced that it has rejected several petitions to legalize marijuana. They say it has nothing to do with politics. It's just that they can't accept a petition that was written on a crumpled up Funyuns bag.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Marijuana, White, House

• Even the White House is weighing in on the deflate-gate scandal. Yesterday they encouraged Tom Brady to 'be mindful of the way he serves as a role model.' And then President Obama stuffed out his cigarette and went golfing at noon on a weekday.

  Jimmy Fallon

  White, Yesterday, Role Models

• In an interview, President Obama said he recently deejayed a small dance party at the White House. Obama has a lot in common with deejays. He takes requests and then completely ignores them.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Party, White, House

• The White House is worried about Joe Biden's potential run for president, and a source says they fear that it wouldn't have the right outcome. That's right, they think he might win.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Running, Winning, Thinking

• A house panel in Texas has approved full marijuana legalization for the state. Yeah, meaning Texas could go from having dude ranches to 'Dude, ranches.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Marijuana, Texas, House

• The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Ideas, White, House

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin