Jimmy Fallon Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Thank You, Mean

  Jimmy Fallon, the Writers of Late Night (2011). “Thank You Notes”, p.181, Hachette UK

• The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Steven Spielberg is going to release a biopic about Abraham Lincoln next year. Right, that's a good way to honor Lincoln – by sending people to the theater.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Years, People

• Mitt Romney will travel to London where he will attend the Olympics opening ceremony. Of course it's going ot be weird when they're announcing all the countries, and he's like 'Got a bank account there, got one there, two bank accounts there.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Country, London Olympics

• It was a great Olympics - Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow - especially when they had to make all of our "We're #1" T-shirts.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Team, London Olympics

• The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Athlete, Winning

• Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Monday, London Olympics

• I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Cute, Boyfriend

• A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Zoos, Pride

• Apple is apparently building a large solar energy farm in North Carolina. And if there's any justice, the minute they're done building it, God will introduce a newer, smaller sun that's not compatible with their machinery.

  Jimmy Fallon

  Funny, Apples, Justice

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