Jimmy Carr Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• How many airports are there in the world?

  Jimmy Carr

  Airports, World

  "Jimmy Carr's 40 most memorable jokes: One-liners and videos galore to mark comic's 40th birthday" by Rob Leigh, www.mirror.co.uk. September 14, 2012.

  15 Copy quote

• I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.

  Jimmy Carr

  Laughing, Sound, Realising

  8 Copy quote

• If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Jesus, Children

  "Comedy Central Presents: Jimmy Carr". TV Series, www.imdb.com. 2005.

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• People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Humor, People

  26 Copy quote

• Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Humor, Ends

  5 Copy quote

• I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

  "Jimmy Carr's 40 most memorable jokes: One-liners and videos galore to mark comic's 40th birthday" by Rob Leigh, www.mirror.co.uk. September 14, 2012.

  8 Copy quote

• I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

  Jimmy Carr

  Thinking, Bombs, Hussein

  9 Copy quote

• I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Fall, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

  Jimmy Carr

  Class, May, Als

  6 Copy quote

• I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Humor, Sound

  12 Copy quote

• I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh.

  Jimmy Carr

  Here I Am, Laughing, Trying

  "Jimmy Carr interview: Motormouth reflects on the crazy world of stand-up comedy". www.mirror.co.uk. November 18, 2011.

  14 Copy quote

• I was out with a friend and he came over with a pair of girls. I said to him "They're like buses." He said "What? Because you wait for ages and then two come along at once." I said "No, they are like buses!"

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Girl, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

  Jimmy Carr

  Crazy, Laughing

  5 Copy quote

• I think that comedians, more than any other type of celebrity, have to keep their humour and keep their feet on the ground. If they start taking themselves too seriously, they're heading for a fall.

  Jimmy Carr

  Fall, Thinking, Feet

  "Preview: Jimmy Carr , Grand Opera House, York November 20" by Charles Hutchinson, North Yorkshire County Publications, November 19, 2004.

  6 Copy quote

• I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.

  Jimmy Carr

  Successful, Thinking, Cake

  "Stand up and be counted, comedians" by Charlotte Cripps, The Independent, January 31, 2007.

  16 Copy quote

• In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Humor, Tomatoes

  FaceBook post by Jimmy Carr from Mar 24, 2008

  7 Copy quote

• Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.

  Jimmy Carr

  Funny, Jesus, Love You

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• I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

  Jimmy Carr

  Life, Religious, Thinking

  "This much I know: Jimmy Carr" by Euan Ferguson, www.theguardian.com. December 10, 2011.

  6 Copy quote

• But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people, we're the one person facing in the opposite direction - yet we have this overwhelming desire to be liked.

  Jimmy Carr

  Overwhelming Desire, Opposites, People

  "He who laughs last... - Comedy" by Stephen Armstrong, The Sunday Times, December 3, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.

  Jimmy Carr

  Luxury Hotels, Giving, Room Service

  8 Copy quote

• All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.

  Jimmy Carr

  Comedian, Different, Audacity

  "The Razz: Jimmy's Brent on Being Funny". The Daily Record, February 28, 2004.

  5 Copy quote

• A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

  Jimmy Carr

  Sound, Surprising, Jokes

  "What I know about women". Interview with Jon Bennett, www.theguardian.com. March 08, 2008.

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• I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

  Jimmy Carr

  Writing, People, Add

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• I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

  Jimmy Carr

  Being In Love, Ideas, Way

  "What I know about women" by Jimmy Carr, www.theguardian.com. March 8, 2008.

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• I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

  Jimmy Carr

  Country, Real, Simple

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