Mort Sahl Quotes - Page 2

• If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?

  Mort Sahl

  Kids, Drug, Would Be

  15 Copy quote

• You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.

  Mort Sahl

  Blow, Darkness, Want

  Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich

  24 Copy quote

• A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.

  Mort Sahl

  Believe, Yuppies, Courageous

  25 Copy quote

• The New York Times is the official leak of the State Department.

  Mort Sahl

  New York, Media, States

  13 Copy quote

• Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

  Mort Sahl

  Demise, Lost, Carter

  8 Copy quote

• I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

  Mort Sahl

  War, Pbs, Bob

  Twitter post from Apr 13, 2011

  11 Copy quote

• A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

  Mort Sahl

  Jobs, Government, Blood

  6 Copy quote

• People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

  Mort Sahl

  Lonely, People, Guy

  54 Copy quote

• This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

  Mort Sahl

  Practice, Two Sides, Matter

  Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich

  20 Copy quote

• We all know that America is the worst country in the world, except for all the others.

  Mort Sahl

  Country, America, World

  Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich

  16 Copy quote

• Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.

  Mort Sahl

  Atheist, Past, College

  16 Copy quote

• I found people looked better when they laughed

  Mort Sahl

  People, Found, Laughed

  19 Copy quote

• We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

  Mort Sahl

  Marriage, Children, Broken

  Mort Sahl (1976). “Heartland”, New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich

  13 Copy quote

• Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.

  Mort Sahl

  Factual

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• you don't know what you think unless you say it.

  Mort Sahl

  Thinking, Knows

  7 Copy quote

• I took benzedrine - I got clairvoyance. With benzedrine you can have a very wide view of the world, like you can decide the destiny of man and other pressing problems, such as which is the left sock?

  Mort Sahl

  Men, Destiny, Views

  9 Copy quote

• A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

  Mort Sahl

  Firsts, Want, Conservative

  6 Copy quote

• New book on Malcolm X says we don't know how he was killed. Want to bring in the FBI. Maybe they were in already.

  Mort Sahl

  Book, Want, Fbi

  Twitter post from Apr 06, 2011

  8 Copy quote

• I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.

  Mort Sahl

  Class, Guy, Computer

  Twitter post from Apr 02, 2011

  15 Copy quote

• You know me, I love lost causes.

  Mort Sahl

  Lost Love, Causes, Lost Cause

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

• I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

  Mort Sahl

  Tombstone, Men, Roger

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.

  Mort Sahl

  Acting, Female, Actresses

  5 Copy quote

• What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas - except the drone.

  Mort Sahl

  Hangover, Las Vegas, Sin City

  Twitter post from Apr 14, 2011

  8 Copy quote

• Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.

  Mort Sahl

  Mad, Firsts, Tvs

  Twitter post from Apr 03, 2011

  9 Copy quote

• Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?

  Mort Sahl

  Guy, Firsts, Underwater

  Twitter post from Apr 07, 2011

  7 Copy quote

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