Jeff Ross Quotes - Page 2

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• I want the roast to be like a party where everybody goes and has a good time.

  Jeff Ross

  Party, Want, Good Times

  Source: www.npr.org

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• Comedians a lot of times we're on the road, we're by our self. We come home to New York to our empty one-bedroom apartment, you know, and we need a place to go where you see a bunch of other miserable people sit around and eat a corned beef sandwich.

  Jeff Ross

  New York, Home, Self

  Source: www.npr.org

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• Before you can be all deprecating it's helpful to be self-deprecating.

  Jeff Ross

  Self, Helpful, Self Deprecating

  Source: www.npr.org

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• I like to roast things from the inside out. I like to know what's going on.

  Jeff Ross

  Knows

  Source: www.npr.org

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• Comics just don't retire. They either die young or they go to 100.

  Jeff Ross

  Young, Die Young, Retiring

  "Having Thick Skin Is A 'Survival Technique,' Says Comic Jeff Ross". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, radio.wpsu.org. January 2, 2017.

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• It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore.

  Jeff Ross

  School, Comedian, Too Much

  Source: www.npr.org

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• My parents passed away when I was a teenager, so I had to learn different survival techniques, I think, in comedy. You know, using comedy as a pressure release, as a release valve in life really kept my sanity.

  Jeff Ross

  Teenager, Thinking, Parent

  Source: www.npr.org

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• Life is tough, and if we don't laugh, we're going to - our head will explode.

  Jeff Ross

  Laughing, Tough, Life Is

  "Having Thick Skin Is A 'Survival Technique,' Says Comic Jeff Ross". "Fresh Air", www.npr.org. September 13, 2016.

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• My best friend is disabled. There's nothing he hates more than being left out of the jokes, to be treated with kid gloves. That's the insult.

  Jeff Ross

  Hate, Kids, My Best Friend

  Source: www.npr.org

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• You know, sometimes I worry, you know, is comedy and my type of comedy going to get stale? Is it going to be so offensive that it becomes uninteresting or so niche that I don't have an audience anymore? But it keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger, where roasting now is a movement. These roasts are on in India, in Mexico.

  Jeff Ross

  Worry, India, Mexico

  Source: www.npr.org

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• I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.

  Jeff Ross

  I Can, My Own, Jokes

  Source: www.npr.org

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• In Boston where community policing is so important, they don't necessarily have to like each other, but they know each other. The cops in Boston make it their business to get out of their vehicles, to engage the public, to walk around the neighborhoods. They live in the community that they police. And I think these things help.

  Jeff Ross

  Thinking, Boston, Community

  Source: www.npr.org

  4 Copy quote

• Sometimes during my set I invite volunteers up on stage to get speed-roasted and I'm worried that I may have hundreds of people rushing the stage all at once. Luckily I'm a black belt in karate and I can fend them off.

  Jeff Ross

  Rushing, Volunteer, People

  Source: www.spin.com

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• You have such a huge career ... behind you.

  Jeff Ross

  Careers, Behind You, Behinds

  "Selena Gomez missed Justin Bieber's roast, but her ears were burning". www.foxnews.com. March 16, 2015.

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• I would vote for you for President but I'm against big government.

  Jeff Ross

  Government, President, Vote

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• Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.

  Jeff Ross

  Achievement, Age, Canada

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• I think Jersey stands alone, and because I'm from Jersey, I never make fun of where people are from. I'll make fun of what they look like, but I'll never make fun of where they are from. Jersey is special.

  Jeff Ross

  Fun, Thinking, People

  "Grilling the Roastmaster Jeffrey Ross". Interview with Maggie Serota, www.avclub.com. July 30, 2009.

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• South Park called...they want their everything back.

  Jeff Ross

  Want, Parks, South

  "Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff". Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2010.

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