Robert Benchley Quotes - Page 6

Quotes about:

• I haven't been abroad in so long that I almost speak English without an accent now.

  Robert Benchley

  Travel, Speak English, Long

  1938 After1903-What?

  4 Copy quote

• There is probably no moment more appalling than that in which the tongue comes suddenly upon the ragged edge of a space from which the old familiar filling has disappeared.

  Robert Benchley

  Space, Tongue, Moments

  Robert Benchley (1946). “One Minute, Please”

  4 Copy quote

• If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

  Robert Benchley

  Law, Comedy, Natural

  4 Copy quote

• It must be a source of great chagrin to those in charge to think of so many people being able to stick a stamp on a letter and drop it in a mail box without any trouble or suffering at all. They are probably working on a system this very minute, trying to devise some way in which the public can be made to fill out a blank, stand in line, consult some underling who will refer him to a superior, and then be made to black up with burned cork before they can mail a letter.

  Robert Benchley

  Thinking, People, Suffering

  4 Copy quote

• Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.

  Robert Benchley

  Men, Band, Aging

  Robert Benchley (1932). “No Poems”

  16 Copy quote

• I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.

  Robert Benchley

  Attitude, Games, Two

  Robert Benchley (2010). “The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News”, p.24, Glendower Media

  4 Copy quote

• One of the chief duties of the fan is to engage in arguments with the man behind him. This department of the game has been allowed to run down fearfully.

  Robert Benchley

  Baseball, Running, Men

  Robert Benchley (2010). “The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News”, Glendower Media

  7 Copy quote

• I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, "Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope," and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.

  Robert Benchley

  Missing, Envelopes, Return

  4 Copy quote

• It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in London once.

  Robert Benchley

  Mother, Queens, London

  Robert Benchley (2010). “The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News”, p.118, Glendower Media

  5 Copy quote

• One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.

  Robert Benchley

  Travel, Self, Shells

  Robert Benchley (1928). “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Or, David Cooperfield”

  7 Copy quote

• There is probably not more than one hundred dollars in cash in circulation today. That is, if you were to call in all the bills and silver and gold in the country at noon tomorrow and pile them on the table, you would find that you had just about one hundred dollars, with perhaps several Canadian pennies and a few peppermint Life Savers.

  Robert Benchley

  Country, Money, Gold

  Robert Benchley (1922). “Love Conquers All”

  4 Copy quote

• If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.

  Robert Benchley

  Writing, Would Be, Alive

  Robert Benchley (1943). “Benchley beside himself”

  4 Copy quote

• The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.

  Robert Benchley

  Family, Country, Character

  Robert Benchley (1922). “Love Conquers All”

  8 Copy quote

• Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

  Robert Benchley

  Men, Ice, Pitcher

  Robert Benchley (1943). “Benchley beside himself”

  4 Copy quote

• I once heard a woman laugh at that most tragic moment in all drama, the off-stage shot in "The Wild Duck," and I afterward had her killed, so there will be no more of that out of her.

  Robert Benchley

  Drama, Ducks, Laughing

  Robert Benchley (1932). “No Poems”

  4 Copy quote

• The Ultimate Day really begins the night before, when you sit up until one o'clock trying to get things into trunk and bags. This is when you discover the well-known fact that summer air swells articles to twice or three times their original size.

  Robert Benchley

  Summer, Night, Air

  Robert Benchley (2010). “The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News”, p.43, Glendower Media

  4 Copy quote

• The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

  Robert Benchley

  Writing, Typewriters, Ribbons

  Chips off the old Benchley (1949) "Learn to Write"

  9 Copy quote

• But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.

  Robert Benchley

  Moving, Salary, Tasks

  Robert Benchley (1976). “Chips Off the Old Benchley”, Amereon Limited

  4 Copy quote

Page 6 of 6

First

← Prev

1

2

3

4

5

6

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin