Waiting Quotes - Page 10

• I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.

  George Burns

  Men, Years, Fishing

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.

  George Burns

  Years, Trying, Actors

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• I am a pack of nerves while waiting for the moment, and this feeling grows and grows and grows and then it explodes, it is a physical joy, a dance, space and time united. Yes, yes, yes, yes!

  Henri Cartier-Bresson

  Space, Joy, Feelings

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• I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.

  Bernie Mac

  Play, Want, Villain

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• I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Jobs, Lying, Ideas

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• It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.

  Demetri Martin

  Important, Helpful, Remember

  Twitter post from Jun 14, 2012

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• You know what's the greatest part of anything ever in the history of everything? Exaggeration. No, wait; it's correcting yourself. No, better yet, it's making lists.

  Demetri Martin

  Lists, Exaggeration, Knows

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• Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Men, Tides

  Rodney Dangerfield (2009). “It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs”, p.77, Zondervan

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• At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Grandpa, Christmas Time, Tinsel

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• Across the nation, thousands of people are lining up in hospital waiting rooms, out the doors, down the steps, around the corners, and behind the hedges, waiting for their inoculations. Here's another idea for avoiding the flu: DON'T stand outside in the cold for hours around lots of other people.

  Jon Stewart

  Waiting Rooms, Doors, Ideas

  "The Daily Show". www.imdb.com. 1996.

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• Cameras are dangerous. With no waiting period or background check, any whack-job could just stroll into a Wal-Mart and walk out with a semi-automatic. Now, for years I've been pressing for stricter regulations on cameras, especially around our elected officials. Too many political lives have been cut short by some crazed shooter.

  Stephen Colbert

  Jobs, Cutting, Years

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• You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words ... have you finished?" While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going ... [mimes obeying all commands] "What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!" "Oh, I'm sorry!"

  Eddie Izzard

  Dog, Sorry, Lying

  "Eddie Izzard: Unrepeatable". Comedy, 1994.

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• My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.

  Emo Philips

  Baby, Adoption, Paper

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• Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?

  Emo Philips

  Gun, Mad, Long

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• It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You know, this would be a great time to get the runs, you think? I mean the sun's out, we're on the ferris wheel - what are we waiting for?

  Richard Jeni

  Running, Mean, Thinking

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• The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.

  Mort Sahl

  People, Watches, Generations

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• I'm sitting, waiting to get on the freeway, and I'm waiting my ass off. I look over at the side of the road, and there's a hitchhiker with a sign and it says, 'Pick me up, and you can drive in the carpool lane.' I got to tell you, he was kind of smelly, but he was a good conversationalist.

  Doug Benson

  Pick Me Up, Looks, Sitting

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• In the power and splendor of the universe, inspiration waits for the millions to come. Man has only to strive for it. Poems greater than the Iliad, plays greater than Macbeth, stories more engaging than Don Quixote await their seeker and finder.

  John Masefield

  Inspiration, Men, Play

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• Self-defense is only an illusion, a dark cloak beneath which lurks a razor-sharp dagger waiting to be plunged into the first unwary victim. Whoever declares that any weapon manufactured today, whether it be a nuclear missile or a .38 special, is created for self-defense should look a little more closely at his own image in the mirror. Either he is a liar or is deceiving himself.

  Wong Shun Leung

  Liars, Dark, Mirrors

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• I remember the 'Checkered Demon'. He's this little devil with this three-foot dong that just porks everybody. And that wa s my idea of what sex was about. And I was, "Oh, wow! I can't wait.

  Leonardo DiCaprio

  Sex, Ideas, Feet

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• You might be a redneck if you entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Loved Ones

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• You might be a redneck if you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Cousin, Redneck, Might

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “There's No Place Like (A Mobile) Home For The Holidays: A Redneck Christmas”, p.47, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• He's comming to meet me on Sun. Cant wait!!... Please God let him love me!!... This could be it [followed by five happy faces].... Hes going to publish my pictures Im so glad I didn't sleep with him either!... I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex anyway. (1992, diary entry as she prepares for a meeting with Paul Marciano, head of Guess.)

  Anna Nicole Smith

  Sex, Hate, Sleep

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• I remember when I first wanted to act my parents were supportive, but it was that they were like please, if you can find something else in the world, don't do this. So it wasn't even they're like 'Oh we've been waiting for you to arrive, welcome to the family business' kind of thing.

  Troian Bellisario

  Parent, Supportive, World

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• I'm waiting for my kids to grow up and get into the Offspring and look at me like I'm a total candy-ass.

  Jakob Dylan

  Growing Up, Kids, Looks

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