Turds Quotes - Page 2

• Javier Pastore wouldn't get a beach ball off me if we were locked in a phone box. He's turd. Anyone who thinks he isn't is clueless.

  Joey Barton

  Football, Beach, Clueless

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• When a writer is swayed with his fame and his fortune, you can float him down the river with the turds.

  Charles Bukowski

  Rivers, Fame, Fortune

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• I live in a 9 million dollar turd.

  Ozzy Osbourne

  Dollars, Million Dollars, Millions

  "The Osbournes". Comedy, Music, Reality-TV, 2002–2005.

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• If you don't have a mobile strategy, you're in deep turd.

  Jen-Hsun Huang

  Strategy, Mobile, Ifs

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• Made up of corallitic accretions and painful increments, lit on rare occasions by bolts of revelation, and then stuffed behind the wainscotting to grope in the mouse-turd dust, art is the equivalent of athlete's foot, at best an exquisite itch, at worst an excuse to stop walking. On the emotional side, it is either masturbation with a hockey glove or a night beneath the sliding moon that shames Eros.

  Harold Town

  Art, Athlete, Hockey

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• Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson.

  John Oliver

  Baseball, War, Believe

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• Although to be fair, cherry picking isn't quite what we do. Cherries are sweet and delicious. What we do is more turd mining. And I'll thank you to give our work the respect it deserves!

  Jon Stewart

  Respect, Sweet, Giving

  "Basic Cable Personality Skirmish '09". "The Daily Show" official website, March 10, 2009.

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• Neferet, you're nuttier than squirrel turds.

  P. C. Cast

  Squirrels

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• Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn't realize because he's a turd.

  Trey Parker

  Comedy, Realizing, Jerry

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• I like to think of myself as a regular guy, except I play football for a living. I try not to be an arrogant turd out there.

  Brian Urlacher

  Football, Thinking, Play

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• But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.

  Bill Hicks

  Sex, Miracle, Wonderful

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• The worst thing for a writer is to know another writer, and worse than that, to know a number of other writers. Like flies on the same turd.

  Charles Bukowski

  Numbers, Worst, Knows

  Charles Bukowski (1978). “Women”

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• The trouble with most coaches is that they start with the assumption that everybody is a turd. And that ain't right.

  Bum Phillips

  Sports, Assumption, Trouble

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• The thing that bothers me the most is the recklessness and greed of the local ranchers, who run too many cattle back here, choking with waste the creek that runs through my property. There's certain times of day that the cowboys like to send them turds down the river. Them f**kers piss me off. if you gotta mess up the ecology of the world in order to raise a bunch of cows, well eat somethin else. I'm not a fan of the cowboys.

  Merle Haggard

  Running, Cowboy, Order

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• Life and literature is a question of what one thrills to, and further than that no man shall ever go without putting his foot in a turd.

  Philip Larkin

  Men, Feet, Literature

  Letter to J.B.Sutton, December 21, 1942.

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• [On journalists:] They are as disruptive a menace to the public body: as grating turds in the intestines are to the private body.

  Caitlin Thomas

  Body, Journalism, Menace

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• The most hopeful thing in the stories, I hope, is wit. I make it up. If I make up a world in which we're ruled by big talking turds, it doesn't mean that we are. So you shouldn't feel depressed.

  George Saunders

  Mean, Talking, Hopeful

  Source: www.guernicamag.com

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• I like to work with people who have a sense of putting a song over, and can sing in tune, and with passion. With technology you can polish a turd, but there's still no button you can press for passion.

  Tony Visconti

  Song, Passion, Technology

  "Sound & Vision: Tony Visconti". Interview with Allyson Mccabe, therumpus.net. January 4, 2016.

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• The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway.

  Frank Zappa

  People, Suits, Jogging

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• My wife, trying to be helpful, goes to the grocery store and buys this stuff called soy bacon. Let me tell you something: I know soy beans are good for a lot of things. Let's stay out of the bacon market! It says It looks and tastes like real bacon! No it doesn't! It tastes like somebody bacon-flavored a turd, that's what it tastes like!

  Bill Engvall

  Real, Wife, Trying

  FaceBook post by Bill Engvall from Jan 16, 2013

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• Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.

  Bill Hicks

  Miracle, Ass, Eating

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• Surfing is one of the most joyful pursuits a human can take up. But there's no joy in a deadzone. If you've ever surfed in turds and medical waste you don't want to repeat the experience.

  Tim Winton

  Joy, Surfing, Want

  Source: www.sas.org.uk

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