Turds Quotes

• Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

  Harry S. Truman

  Atheism, Hot, Kicks

  92 Copy quote

• Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box.

  Bill Maher

  Chocolate, Life Is, Boxes

  20 Copy quote

• As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.

  George Carlin

  Humorous, Rivers, Swim

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

  14 Copy quote

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• I was talking to my friend from New York yesterday, and I used the expression, 'You can't polish a turd'. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, 'No, you can't, but you can roll it in glitter'. He's a lovely guy but I wouldn't want to go to a craft fair with him

  Steve Williams

  New York, Expression, Talking

  13 Copy quote

• A woman's love is like the morning dew. It's just as likely to settle on a horse turd as a rose.

  Larry McMurtry

  Morning, Horse, Love Is

  "Leaving Cheyenne". Book by Larry McMurtry, 1963.

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• You're like a turd that won't flush.

  Dennis Hopper

  12 Copy quote

• You can't polish a turd.

  Stephen King

  Polish

  16 Copy quote

• I'm not afraid to play ugly - look at 'Adaptation.' I looked like a turd that a cat had coughed up.

  Nicolas Cage

  Cat, Play, Looks

  11 Copy quote

• So do you want a turd sandwich or a turd sandwich with mustard. I'd go with the mustard, but still, it's a turd sandwich.

  Cody Lundin

  Survival, Sandwiches, Want

  25 Copy quote

• Don't pole-vault over mouse turds.

  Wayne Dyer

  Spiritual, Vaults, Pole Vault

  Dr Wayne W Dyer (2009). “Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life (Easyread Large Edition)”, p.393, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• I'm the sort of loser who succeeds really well and then drops a turd in the punch bowl.

  Christopher Titus

  Succeed, Loser, Wells

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Sometimes you've got to eat a turd sandwich; makes the ribeye taste better next time.

  Shane Battier

  Sandwiches, Taste, Next

  8 Copy quote

• If it's not working, you can't polish a turd.

  Lee Unkrich

  Polish, Ifs

  "Welcome to Planet Pixar". Interview wirh Austin Bunn, www.wired.com. June 1, 2004.

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• I grew up having to piss in a bucket ’cos there was no indoor shitter, and now I have these computerised Japanese super-loo things that have heated seats and wash and blow-dry your arse at the touch of a button. Give it a couple of years and I’ll have a bog with a robot arm that pulls out my turds, so I don’t have to strain.

  Ozzy Osbourne

  Couple, Blow, Years

  25 Copy quote

• When you mix raisins and turds, you've still got turds.

  Charlie Munger

  Raisins, Stills

  9 Copy quote

• that's as nutty as squirrel turds

  P. C. Cast

  Squirrels, Nutty

  P. C. Cast, Kristin Cast (2011). “Awakened: A House of Night Novel”, p.239, Macmillan

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• Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.

  Jon Stewart

  Depressing, Thinking, Disease

  8 Copy quote

• Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour.

  Bill Hicks

  Thinking, Mushrooms, Cows

  6 Copy quote

• If I started thinking too much about how influential I've been, then I'd be more of a turd than I already am.

  Iggy Pop

  Thinking, Too Much, Influential

  14 Copy quote

• I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?

  Bill Maher

  Religious, Pool, Ifs

  "Questioning the Bible: What I Would Have Said to Bill Maher" by Derek Flood, www.huffingtonpost.com. July 30, 2013.

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• ..few writers like other writers' works. The only time they like them is when they are dead or if they have been for a long time. Writers only like to sniff their own turds. I am one of those. I don't even like to talk to writers, look at them or worse, listen to them. And the worst is to drink with them, they slobber all over themselves, really look piteous, look like they are searching for the wing of the mother. I'd rather think about death than about other writers. Far more pleasant.

  Charles Bukowski

  Mother, Thinking, Wings

  13 Copy quote

• Nobody makes a turd like that and lives.

  Mike Rowe

  "Dirty Jobs (Sewer Inspector)". TV Series, August 2, 2005.

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• There is San Diego - this retirement village, with its prim petticoat, that doesn't want to get too near the water. San Diego worries about all the turds washing up on the lovely, pristine beaches of La Jolla. San Diego wishes Mexico would have fewer babies. And San Diego, like the rest of America, is growing middle-aged.

  Richard Rodriguez

  Baby, Beach, Retirement

  Source: www.teachingbooks.net

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• Don't ever write a novel unless it hurts like a hot turd coming out.

  Charles Bukowski

  Hurt, Writing, Hot

  7 Copy quote

• If we mix only a moderate minority share of turds with the raisins each year, probably no one will recognize what will ultimately become a very large collection of turds.

  Charlie Munger

  Years, Minorities, Share

  9 Copy quote