Toilets Quotes - Page 14

• Do you have someone watching her house?” (Stephanie) “That kind of surveillance only happens in the movies. We’re so underbudgeted we’re one step away from holding bake sales to pay for toilet paper. (Morelli)

  Janet Evanovich

  House, Paper, Pay

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• So one time when I was working in this motel one of the toilets leaked and I had to replace the flapper ball. Here's what it said on the package; I kept it till I knew it by heart: 'Please Note. Parts are included for all installations, but no installation requires all of the parts.' That's kind of my philosophy about men. I don't think there's an installation out there that could use all my parts.

  Barbara Kingsolver

  Philosophy, Heart, Men

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• I wondered if the fire had been out to get me. I wondered if all fire was related, like Dad said all humans were related, if the fire that had burned me that day while I cooked hot dogs was somehow connected o the fire I had flushed down the toilet and the fire burning at the hotel. I didn't have the answers to those questions, but what I did know was that I lived in a world that at any moment could erupt into fire. It was the sort of knowledge that kept you on your toes.

  Jeannette Walls

  Dog, Dad, Fire

  Jeannette Walls (2009). “The Glass Castle: A Memoir”, p.34, Simon and Schuster

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• There is something reassuring about the toilets. Bodily functions at least remain democratic. Everybody shits.

  Margaret Atwood

  Reassuring, Bodily Functions, Democratic

  "The Handmaid's Tale". Book by Margaret Atwood, 1985.

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• Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate.

  Iggy Pop

  Garden, Yards, Use

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• Each civilization may choose one of two roads to travel, that is, either fret itself to death, or pet itself to death. And in the course of doing one or the other, it eats its way into the Universe, turning cinders and flinders of stars into toilet seats, pegs, gears, cigarette holders and pillowcases, and it does this because, unable to fathom the Universe, it seeks to change that Fathomlessness into Something Fathomable.

  Stanislaw Lem

  Stars, Two, Civilization

  "The Cyberiad: Fables for the Cybernetic Age". Book by Stanisław Lem, translated by Michael Kandel. "Tale of the Three Storytelling Machines of King Genius", §10, 1974.

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• I do all my interviews on the toilet.

  Slash

  Interviews

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• I peed in my wife's boot once. On honeymoon, in Madrid, we were drinking absinthe and somehow made it back to our hotel. I don't remember a second of this, but my wife woke up to this noise. Two of her boots were in the corner, one had fallen down and the other was standing up and I was peeing into it! It was a hole, and it looked like a toilet. She said: "Rob, wake up, you're peeing into my shoe!"

  Rob Corddry

  Drinking, Shoes, Two

  "What Happens In Vegas - Rob Corddry and Lake Bell interview". Interview with Rob Carnevale, www.indielondon.co.uk.

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• Online, you're providing each other with the good aspects of being together as far as communication and support, but you don't have to deal with the realities of paying bills together, or being annoyed when they leave the toilet seat up or don't put the food away in the fridge.

  Nev Schulman

  Communication, Reality, Support

  "Q&A: Catfish's Nev Schulman on How Real the Show Is". Interview with Anna Peele, www.esquire.com. June 25, 2013.

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• It's a stark thought that when we die most of us will leave behind uneaten biscuits, unused coffee, half toilet rolls, half cartons of milk in the fridge to go sour; that everyday functional things will outlive us and prove that we weren't ready to go; that we weren't smart or knowing or heroic; that we were just animals whose animal bodies stopped working without any sort of schedule or any consent from us.

  Steven Hall

  Smart, Coffee, Animal

  Steven Hall (2005). “The Raw Shark Texts”, p.18, Canongate Books

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• I had made this mistake once before, on a school trip to the Victoria and Albert Museum, when I followed a sign marked WOMEN, thinking it was an exhibition on the changing roles of women in society, and actually ended up standing in the ladies' toilets.

  David Nicholls

  Mistake, School, Thinking

  David Nicholls (2008). “Starter for Ten: A Novel”, p.42, Villard

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• Every parent who has ever said a few words over a goldfish in a toilet bowl
  or felt the numbness of an unexpected diagnosis in a pediatrician's office will appreciate the heartfelt wisdom in It's Okay to Cry. Norm Wright tenderly and skillfully equips parents to help children cultivate a healthy response to life's many pains and sorrows.

  Lori Borgman

  Children, Pain, Heart

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• I wouldn't go in a fast food outlet even to use the toilet.

  Jonny Wilkinson

  Food, Use, Outlets

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• So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.

  Sarah Dessen

  House

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• If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular piece of mine,
  shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes.

  James Dickey

  Frost, Pieces, Pipe

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• If a woman were about to proceed to her execution, she would demand a little time to perfect her toilet.

  Nicolas Chamfort

  Perfect, Execution, Demand

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• Surely it is one of the requisites of a tasteful garb that the expression of effort to please shall be wanting in it; that the mysteries of the toilet shall not be suggested by it; that the steps to its completion shall be knocked away like the sculptor's ladder from the statue, and the mental force expended upon it be swept away out of sight like the chips on the studio floor.

  Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward

  Fashion, Expression, Sight

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• The practice of Zen is to eat, breathe, cook, carry water, and scrub the toilet — to infuse every act of body, speech, and mind — with mindfulness, to illuminate every leaf and pebble, every heap of garbage, every path that leads to our mind's return home.

  Nhat Hanh

  Home, Practice, Water

  Thich Nhat Hanh (1999). “Fragrant Palm Leaves: Journals, 1962-1966”, p.69, Penguin

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• A long white ribbon shot out of the crack in the wall. The ribbon just kept coming, weaving itself into some kind of shape next to Anubis, and my first thought was, My god, he’s got a magic roll of toilet paper.

  Rick Riordan

  Wall, White, Long

  Rick Riordan (2010). “The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles Book 1): The Red Pyramid”, p.284, Penguin UK

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• In Michigan, a liberal democrat raised taxes and kept their government programs at the same level. And guess what? Their economy continued into the toilet, it continued down.

  Rick Perry

  Government, Michigan, Levels

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• Tell me something, Adron. Sometime you’ve never shared with anyone else. Not even Thia. (Livia) I’m the one who glued Zarina to the toilet seat when she was seven. (Adron)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Toilet Seat, Seven, Seats

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• I tell myself that's what you get when you put thirty-one toilets on the most popular girl's front yard. People tend to treat you a little differently than before.

  Kathryn Stockett

  Girl, People, Yards

  Kathryn Stockett (2011). “The Help”, p.533, Penguin UK

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• Acting is invigorating. But I don't analyse it too much. It's like a dog smelling where it's going to do its toilet in the morning.

  Liam Neeson

  Dog, Morning, Acting

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• Today, the degradation of the inner life is symbolized by the fact that the only place sacred from interruption is the private toilet.

  Lewis Mumford

  Life, Aggravation, Sacred

  Lewis Mumford (2016). “The Culture of Cities”, p.38, Open Road Media

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• He wanted to go running home to Mommy, what can I say? Of course, it's hard for me to believe that anyone would choose to step out of the FAYZ. I mean, where else do you get to eat rats, use your backyard for a toilet, and live in fear for nineteen different kinds of scary?" -Howard

  Michael Grant

  Running, Believe, Mean

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