Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Good people drink good beer.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
I drink to make other people interesting.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Work like you don't need the money.
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