Receipts Quotes

Applause is a receipt, not a bill.

Dale Carnegie

Bills, Applause

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I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Groucho Marx

Sex, Funny Relationship, Goggles

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Records are just moments of achievement. They're like receipts for work done. Time goes on and people keep playing music.

Bill Laswell

People, Achievement, Playing Music

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The receipts of cookery are swelled to a volume; but a good stomach excels them all.

William Penn

Food, Cooking, Culinary

William Penn (1782). “The Select Works of William Penn: In Five Volumes. ...”, p.127

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The first forms of writing emerged not for art, literature, or love, not for spiritual or liturgical purposes, but for business--all literature could be said to originate from sales receipts (sorry).

Daniel Levitin

Spiritual, Art, Sorry

Daniel Levitin (2015). “The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload”, p.33, Penguin UK

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The money the president wants to borrow for Iraq will come directly out of the American taxpayer wallets in the form of Medicare and Social Security receipts. That's your money

Robert Byrd

Iraq, President, Want

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Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

Kin Hubbard

Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

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I met a lot of young girls modelling and they were like, 'Oh, I'm running around town and people are taking my picture', while I was saving receipts and learning how to be self-employed.

Christina Hendricks

Girl, Running, Self

"Mad Men and me: Christina Hendricks interview". Interview with Hadley Freeman, www.theguardian.com. September 16, 2011.

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To announce truths is an infallible receipt for being persecuted.

Voltaire

Truth, Persecuted, Infallible

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There is - you know, there's receipts for rented cars and license plates and guns and hand prints and palm prints and fingerprints. You know, I want to wait until I'm in a court.

Patty Hearst

Gun, Hands, Car

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Applause is a receipt, not a note of demand.

Artur Schnabel

Demand, Notes, Applause

"Saturday Review" Magazine, September 29, 1951.

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I have come to the conclusion that the major part of the president is to increase the gate receipts of expositions and fairs and bring tourists to town.

William Howard Taft

Presidential, Towns, Tourists

Letter of Archibald Butt to Clara F. Butt on June 01, 1909. "Taft and Roosevelt: The intimate letters of Archie Butt" by Archibald Willingham Butt, 1930.

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Anger is uneasiness or discomposure of the mind upon the receipt of any injury, with a present purpose of revenge

John Locke

Revenge, Anger, Mind

John Locke (1836). “An Essay Concerning Human Understanding”, p.148

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Karma is not a receipt of a physical experience, because of what someone has done.

Frederick Lenz

Karma, Done

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There is the kiss of welcome and of parting, the long, lingering, loving, present one; the stolen, or the mutual one; the kiss of love, of joy, and of sorrow; the seal of promise and receipt of fulfillment.

Thomas Chandler Haliburton

Kissing, Romantic Love, Long

Thomas Chandler Haliburton (1855). “Nature and Human Nature”, p.68, New York : Stringer and Townsend

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The agent never receipts his bill, puts his hat on and bows himself out. He stays around forever, not only for as long as you can write anything that anyone will buy, but as long as anyone will buy any portion of any right to anything that you ever did write. He just takes ten per cent of your life.

Raymond Chandler

Writing, Long, Forever

Raymond Chandler, Dorothy Gardiner, Kathrine Sorley Walker (1977). “Raymond Chandler Speaking”, p.158, Univ of California Press

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Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.

Jay Leno

Law, Political, Needs

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To acknowledge the receipt of letters is always proper, to remove doubts of their miscarriage.

George Washington

Miscarriage, Doubt, Letters

George Washington (1860). “Recollections and private memoirs of Washington by his adopted son George Washington with a memoir of the author by his daughter; and illustrative and explanatory notes by Benson J. Loosing: With illustrations”, p.77

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Never guess your wife's size. Just buy anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt.

Rodney Dangerfield

Wife, Size, Petite

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On getting mugged: I carry around months and months of receipts. I need a mugger who can file my VAT returns.

Dara O Briain

Funny, Return, Needs

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I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but only the last four numbers. Aha! I'm really good at guessing twelve numbers. I can't guess 16 numbers, so thanks for the assistance!

Mitch Hedberg

Funny, Humor, Numbers

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Where's my tax form? Where's the file that's supposed to hold my W-2 form and interest statement? Where's the mileage log I specifically asked be kept last year?? Where's the monthly check summary? And who's been stuffing Visa receipts in the aluminum foil drawer??!! How embarrassing. I'm surrounded by idiots and I'm the only one in the office.

Cathy Guisewite

Years, Office, Aluminum Foil

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Mankind accepts good fortune as his due, but when bad occurs, he thinks it was aimed at him, done to him, a hex, a curse, a punishment by his deity for some transgression, as though his god were a petty storekeeper, counting up the day's receipts.

Sheri S. Tepper

Thinking, Punishment, Deities

Sheri S. Tepper (2013). “The Visitor”, p.216, Hachette UK

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Drop dead-but first get permit

Robert A. Heinlein

Firsts, Permit

Robert A Heinlein (1966). “Moon Is Harsh Mistres”, Berkley

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How were the receipts today in Madison Square Garden ?

P. T. Barnum

Garden, Squares, Today

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