Monkeys Quotes - Page 20

• Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.

  Eddie Izzard

  Fun, Car, Boards

  "Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1999.

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• Can someone explain to me why pilots feel they need to wake everyone to tell us that we are flying by a cloud that looks like a monkey.

  Bill Engvall

  Clouds, Flying, Needs

  Twitter post from Dec 19, 2010

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• The first book I could call mine, my first book, was a picture book, The Magic Monkey - it was adapted from an old Chinese legend by a thirteen-year-old prodigy named Plato Chan with the help of his sister.

  Nick Flynn

  Plato, Book, Years

  "The Ticking Is the Bomb" by Nick Flynn, www.esquire.com. January 24, 2008.

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• Am I the only person who hopes that David Beckham has sex with Brad Pitt? I don't know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it happen before one of them is out of their prime. Can you imagine those two men together making love? If there's a man in here that's junk doesn't wiggle just a little bit at the thought of those two men together - this has nothing to do with your homophobic sexual preference. At that level it's art, you monkey. You should be honored that you share the same restroom with those Greek gods.

  Daniel Tosh

  Art, Sex, Men

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• Modernity is a desert, and we are jungle monkeys. And so new evolutionary selective pressures are coming to bear upon the human situation, new ideas are coming to the fore. Psilocybin is a selective filter for this. The wish to go to space is a selective filter for this. Just the wish to know your own mind is a selective filter for this.

  Terence McKenna

  Ideas, Space, Mind

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• The problem with movies and books is they make evil look glamorous, exciting, when it's no such thing. It's boring and it's depressing and it's stupid. Criminals are all after cheap thrills and easy money, and when they get them, all they want is more of the same, over and over. They're shallow, empty, boring people who couldn't give you five minutes of interesting conversation if you had the piss-poor luck to be at a party full of them. Maybe some can be monkey-clever, some of the time, but they aren't hardly ever smart.

  Dean Koontz

  Depressing, Clever, Smart

  Dean Koontz (2007). “From the Corner of His Eye: A Novel”, p.552, Bantam

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• As is often the case with children, the rule of 'monkey see, monkey do' plays out in the workplace. It's hard to be good role model, and it's one of the greatest challenges of leadership.

  Leon F. "Lee" Ellis

  Children, Play, Role Models

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• Ann Coulter to me is someone who says things that I say all the time, but I say them at three in the morning when I'm drunk as a monkey. She says them at three in the afternoon stone sober in bright daylight.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Morning, Drunk, Three

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• I think with the work we do with these drugs we are the earliest pioneers in what over the next 100 years will lead to an understanding of consciousness almost as a thing apart from the monkey body and brain.

  Terence McKenna

  Thinking, Years, Drug

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• If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy - but I look at politicians as they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, 'That's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?' But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say, 'Bad monkey.'

  Jon Stewart

  Jobs, Zoos, Thinking

  "Charlie Rose" Interview, charlierose.com. September 29, 2004.

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• The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

  Peter Kay

  Opportunity, Looks, Firsts

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• Working with any actor is like working with a monkey.

  Marlon Brando

  Actors

  Source: www.movieweb.com

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• I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.

  Robert Benchley

  Two, Giving, Way

  Robert Benchley (2016). “My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew”, p.282, Pickle Partners Publishing

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• Why don't we all just go crazy when we know were going to croak? Because the mind's a monkey. You put things in departments and you go ahead. You go on and plan for the future and assume that the future's going to work out okay. Yet we know that sooner or later we're all going to be eating worms, whether it's fifty years or sixty. It might be tomorrow. It might happen today.

  Stephen King

  Crazy, Years, Work Out

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• If Sun were to hand the management of Java over to a committee of monkeys, would it be more successful?

  Eric Sink

  Successful, Hands, Java

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• All of my early images were really visual experiments to me. They were attempts to answer unasked questions like, what happens if you put images of six men and six women together, or if we combined a monkey's image with a human, would the result approximate an image of early man?

  Nancy Burson

  Men, Together, Answers

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• A lot of my dreams have to do with animals I think because I'm such a huge animal lover. I have so many pets. I always have crazy dreams where I'm like riding an elephant through the jungle or hanging out with a bunch of monkeys.

  Paris Hilton

  Dream, Crazy, Animal

  "The return of Paris Hilton". Interview with Emma Brown, www.interviewmagazine.com. October 8, 2013.

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• Why get rid of Chamberlain to put in Halifax? It's like getting rid of the organ-grinder to put in the monkey.

  Barbara Castle, Baroness Castle of Blackburn

  Halifax, Organs, Grinder

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• People might say, What's so great about the Arctic Monkeys? I've never even seen them. Well, you've never seen God either. You're gonna tell me he's not awesome?

  Christian Finnegan

  People, Might, Arctic

  "Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins". TV Series, www.imdb.com.

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• I looked into studying psychoanalysis, wrote to the governing body and was about to start the year where they psychoanalyse you, four times a week, before you get to do it yourself. I just thought I'd taken the ventriloquism as far as I could. My act is so deconstructive, and I'd made all the monkey jokes anyone wanted to hear.

  Nina Conti

  Taken, Years, Body

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• It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.

  Jon Stewart

  Zoos, Stupid, Mad

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• I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.

  Jon Stewart

  Zoos, Media, Upset

  "Jon Stewart: The Most Trusted Name In Fake News". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. October 4, 2010.

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• I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad - say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There was no medical information against it; they had no idea - it was a paradise. It was a smoker's paradise: 'They're taking my lung out next week. I don't know why. Doctor thinks maybe I'm brushing my teeth too often, but I can't help it because, for some reason, my breath smells like I licked a monkey's ass.

  Arj Barker

  Thinking, Doctors, Next Week

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• Many kinds of monkeys have a strong taste for tea, coffee and spirituous liqueurs.

  Charles Darwin

  Strong, Coffee, Tea

  Charles Darwin (1872). “The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex”, p.12

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• I'm like a monkey. You don't let go of one branch until you get a hold of the other.

  Ice T

  Letting Go, Branches, Don't Let Go

  "Interview: Ice-T likes lemonade, loves Coco". Interview with Luis Gomez, articles.chicagotribune.com. June 14, 2012.

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