Monkeys Quotes - Page 19

• Sportswriters are a rude and brainless subculture of fascist drunks, a gang of vicious monkeys jerking off in a zoo cage... more disgusting by nature than maggots oozing out the carcass of a dead animal.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Zoos, Animal, Rude

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• A common and natural result of an undue respect for law is, that you may see a file of soldiers, colonel, captain, corporal, privates, powder-monkeys, and all, marching in admirable order over hill and dale to the wars, against their wills, ay, against their common sense and consciences, which makes it very steep marching indeed, and produces a palpitation of the heart.

  Henry David Thoreau

  War, Heart, Order

  Henry David Thoreau (2002). “The Essays of Henry D. Thoreau: Selected and Edited by Lewis Hyde”, p.202, North Point Press

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• There is no need to upset about the fact that our ancestors were monkeys, because they are capable chaps! Don't be sad about the truth, just understand the truth!

  Mehmet Murat Ildan

  Upset, Facts, Needs

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• After an inferior man has been taught a doctrine of superiority he will remain as inferior as he was before his lesson. He will merely assume himself to be superior, and attempt to employ his recently-learned tactics against his own kind, whom he will then consider his inferiors. With each inferior man enjoying what he considers his unique role, the entire bunch will be reduced to a pack of strutting, foppish, self-centered monkeys gamboling about on an island of ignorance. There they will play their games under the supervision of their keeper, who was and always will be a superior man.

  Anton Szandor LaVey

  Ignorance, Unique, Men

  Anton Szandor LaVey (2000). “The Devil's Notebook”, p.143, Feral House

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• I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.

  Mark Twain

  Disappointment, Father, Believe

  Mark Twain (2013). “Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 2: The Complete and Authoritative Edition”, p.288, Univ of California Press

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• The French - cheese-eating surrender monkeys. The Germans - schnitzel snarfing stormtrooper spawn.

  Theodore Beale

  Cheese, Surrender, Eating

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• Many centuries ago, Oriental thinkers recognized that the mind is a constant mover and that it is next to impossible to stop it altogether. But one can learn to manage it by skillful use of the handle of control. They compared the mind to a jumping monkey. To intensify the image, they added that the monkey was maddened; then someone got him drunk; and finally, a scorpion bit him.

  Ervin Seale

  Jumping, Drunk, Mind

  ERVIN SEALE (1971). “TAKE OFF FROM WITHIN”

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• Next time you bump your head, try to imagine being a monkey and getting a steel plate smashed into your skull at 50 miles per hour. Then, only then should you feel compelled to tell me that I'm wrong about my opinions. For all these things have happened in the name of science. They continue in abundance till this day.

  Rikki Rockett

  Names, Skulls, Trying

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• The only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their own Olympics. You hear all this stuff about TV being faked. Of course it's faked. It's all faked. That documentary a couple of weeks ago about tribal warfare among monkeys, that was all filmed in a Yates wine lodge in Dundee. Comic Relief is faked. Everybody in Africa is fine.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Couple, Humor

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• No, monkeys are still having babies, why don't they have another human today?

  Kent Hovind

  Baby, Today, Humans

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• The fountain of youth is like the monkeys paw in the W. W. Jacobs story. It never ends well.

  Sarah Monette

  Stories, Paws, Youth

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• We are monkeys. We like to chatter. Chattering doesn't cost us anything.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cost, Chatter

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go onstage and look young.

  Elton John

  Alcohol, Drug, Trying

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• What I love about the way they both [Paul Thomas Anderson and Joaquin Phoenix] work is that all of the monkey business is on film. There's no monkey business outside of the monkey business of making the movie. There's no ego bullshit, there's no wasted energy. It's all directed at the story and that's rare.

  Katherine Waterston

  Phoenix, Bullshit, Ego

  Source: collider.com

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• I knew Rick Pitino was going to make them play that outbreak, monkey defense. He's been doing it all his life.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Basketball, Play, Defense

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• You know, if you have a zoo you don't want the other creatures to see you. You want them to hang out and act properly and, you know, when the monkeys will come and ask for the bananas, they won't act like monkeys. If you want them to act on what their true nature is, you've got to leave them alone.

  Tarsem Singh

  Zoos, Want, Bananas

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• My big break was back in the third grade playing the third monkey in 'Horton Hears a Who.

  Sebastian Arcelus

  Break, Bigs, Third Grade

  "THE LEADING MEN: Arcelus and Morrison". Interview with Tom Nondorf, www.playbill.com. May 01, 2007.

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• I want you to recognize that I'm a proud monkey...

  Kendrick Lamar

  Want, Proud, I Want You

  "The Blacker The Berry". Song by Kendrick Lamar, Jefferey Campbell, Zale Epstein, Alexander Izquierdo, Brent Kolatalo, Stephen Kozmeniuk, Ken Lewis and Matthew Samuels, February 9, 2015.

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• My dream pet? I like a couple of them, man: monkey, I love dogs. See, tigers, I don't know - I can't be playing with something like that. A monkey, I can handle it. A dog, yeah; I would get a monkey.

  French Montana

  Dream, Dog, Couple

  "French Montana wants a pet monkey" by Rob Markman, www.mtv.com. October 25, 2013.

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• Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering your monkey, 35 calories; laughing at a midget, fun and 10 calories; catching your girlfriend with another guy, 2000-3000 calories, depending on backswings.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Girlfriend, Morning

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• When enough electrons within an atom get aligned and a critical mass is reached - as soon as you hit that hundredth monkey, as soon as you hit the one - you have phase transition, and all the rest of the electrons automatically make the change. My mission - what I teach and what I believe in - is that you just get yourself aligned with God-consciousness. If we teach enough people to do it - if enough of us ultimately get there - then we'll start electing leaders with this kind of consciousness. We'll start seeing kinds of shifts taking their place.

  Wayne Dyer

  Believe, People, Leader

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• I see a clear breach of ahimsa even in driving away monkeys; the breach would be proportionately greater if they have to be killed.

  Mahatma Gandhi

  Would Be, Driving, Clear

  Mahatma Gandhi (1970). “Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi”

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• Unlike some of the time-travel movies I love, like 'Primer' or '12 Monkeys,' 'Looper' is not about time travel. It's about this situation that time travel creates and the people dealing with that situation. So narratively, the big challenge was to have time travel get out of the way.

  Rian Johnson

  People, Challenges, Way

  "Rian Johnson on his sci-fi film 'Looper'" by Michael Ordoña, www.sfgate.com. September 24, 2012.

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• Contrary to general belief, humans imitate apes more than the reverse. The sight of monkeys or apes induces an irresistible urge in people to jump up and down, exaggeratedly scratch themselves and holler in a way that must make the primates wonder how this otherwise so intelligent species has come to depend on such inferior means of communication.

  Frans de Waal

  Communication, Mean, Intelligent

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• Monkey Beach is a moody, powerful novel full of memorable characters. Reading it was like entering a pool of emerald water to discover a haunted world shivering with loss and love, regret and sorrow, where the spirit world is as real as the human. I was sucked into it with the very first sentence and when I left, it was with a feeling of immense reluctance.

  Anita Rau Badami

  Beach, Powerful, Regret

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