Midget Quotes

• They say a midget standing on a giant's shoulders can see much further than the giant. So I got the whole rap world on my shoulders, they trying to see further than I am.

  Jay-Z

  Rap, Hip Hop, Trying

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• Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

  Leslie Nielsen

  Toes

  "Fictional character: Frank Drebin". "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult", www.imdb.com. 1994.

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• She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.

  Clive James

  Confusion, Way, Abstract

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

  Patton Oswalt

  Gold, Coins, Sticks

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• I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Political, Being There, Accepting

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• I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.

  Karl Pilkington

  Funny, Mean, Chocolate

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• I assure you that the training that you get in a midget, in a sprint car and perhaps in a Silver Crown car is really the kind of experience that makes you into a damn good race driver.

  Rodger Ward

  Race, Umpires, Car

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• Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Guy

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• I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo

  Larry the Cable Guy

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• My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.

  E. J. Holub

  Football, Fighting, Knives

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• Tessa: "A little girl robbed you?" Will: "Actually, she wasn't a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name Six-Fingered Nigel." Jem:"Easy mistake to make." (later) Will: "I want to be back before dark. I have an assignation in Soho this evening with a certain attractive someone" Tessa: “Goodness, If you keep seeing Six-Fingered Nigel like this, he'll expect you to declare your intentions.

  Cassandra Clare

  Girl, Mistake, Dark

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• Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.

  W. C. Fields

  Feet, House, Littles

  W. C. Fields (1970). “I Never Met a Kid I Liked”

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• If you want a midget to look like a baby, don’t put a cigar in his mouth.

  Chuck Jones

  Baby, Looks, Mouths

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• Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them to do adult things like drive cars, Jet-Ski, and lip-synch. I’m in awe of their little limbs, their large craniums, and their medicine-ball asses. I love the little baby steps they take while shifting their weight from side to side, and the fact that when you knock one over accidentally, he flails like a turtle on its back that can’t get up right away.

  Chelsea Handler

  Baby, Turtles, Medicine

  Chelsea Handler (2009). “Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea”, p.215, Simon and Schuster

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• Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

  Al Yankovic

  Art, Wrestling, Media

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• I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them.

  Sarah Silverman

  Funny, Humor, Comedy

  4 Copy quote

• What can I do, I asked myself, that is so spectacular that no one will be able to say he had seen it before? The answer was perfectly obvious. I would send a midget up to bat.

  Bill Veeck

  Bats, Answers, Able

  Bill Veeck, Ed Linn (2012). “Veeck--As In Wreck: The Autobiography of Bill Veeck”, p.12, University of Chicago Press

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• Feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace

  Ludacris

  Necklaces, Feels

  Song: Stand Up

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• Any time a little midget does something like this, you gotta give him a 10!.

  Charles Barkley

  Basketball, Giving, Doe

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• A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.

  Tom Waits

  Sarcastic, Fence Post, Posts

  Song: The Piano Has Been Drinking

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• If you want to be called a dwarf you must be in immediate possession of a battle axe cause otherwise your just a midget with an attitude.

  Ralphie May

  Attitude, Dwarves, Battle

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• We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.

  Michael Steele

  Stupid, Silly, Needs

  "Steele: GOP needs 'hip-hop' makeover". Interview with Ralph Z. Hallow, m.washingtontimes.com. February 19, 2009.

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• Don't you think baby corns are scary? There's just something wrong about their midget bodies.

  P. C. Cast

  Baby, Thinking, Scary

  P. C. Cast, Kristin Cast (2013). “House of Night Series”, p.140, Macmillan

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• Many of us are confessional giants but ethical midgets.

  Mark Buchanan

  Giants, Ethical

  Mark Buchanan (2009). “The Holy Wild: Trusting in the Character of God”, p.27, Multnomah

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• Ninety-five per cent of my language problems are the fault of that stupid little midget.

  Gianfranco Zola

  Soccer, Football, Stupid

  "Tuesday's football transfer rumours: Heskey to Aston Villa?" by Les Roopanarine, www.theguardian.com. September 9, 2008.

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