Mayonnaise Quotes

• Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

  Robin Williams

  Funny, Humor, People

  92 Copy quote

• Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Cooking, Religion

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.162, University of Georgia Press

  88 Copy quote

  Show source

• One of my favorite things is mayonnaise and I have to tell you that. I love mayonnaise, but I don't eat it any more. If I do I put light mayonnaise on it, which I know is still not good but it's a lot better than the other one and I don't eat it that much.

  Mike Ditka

  Sports, Light, Favorites Things

  86 Copy quote

• Europe's the mayonnaise all right, but America supplies the good old lobster.

  D. H. Lawrence

  Europe, America, Lobster

  "Collected Short Stories".

  87 Copy quote

  Show source

• I said Yo Jay, I can rap. And I spit this rap that said I'm killin' ya'll *****s on this lyrical sh*t, mayonnaise colored benz, I push miracle whips.

  Kanye West

  Rap, Miracle, Lyrical

  62 Copy quote

• My favorite sandwich is peanut butter, baloney, cheddar cheese, lettuce, and mayonnaise on toasted bread with catsup on the side.

  Hubert H. Humphrey

  Food, Cooking, Bread

  53 Copy quote

• Mayonnaise is a lot like men, it can make everything much better, adding flavor and ease to your life. Or, it can just be sticky and gross and make you nauseous"- "Keeping the Moon

  Sarah Dessen

  Moon, Men, Flavor

  22 Copy quote

• It's hard to swallow your pride. That's why I slather mine in mayonnaise.

  Stephen Colbert

  Pride, Hard, Mines

  11 Copy quote

• Life's like a mayonnaise soda.

  Lou Reed

  Philosophy, Soda

  Song: What's Good, Album: Magic and Loss, 1992

  40 Copy quote

  Show source

• Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't.

  Karl Lagerfeld

  Fashion, Taste, Kind

  11 Copy quote

• I have always wanted to write a book that ended with the word 'mayonnaise.

  Richard Brautigan

  Book, Writing, Wanted

  77 Copy quote

• The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated as the tang of Zen - that today they have a word for mayonnaise junkie: mayora.

  Tom Robbins

  Funny, Humorous, Japan

  11 Copy quote

• And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing.

  Jackie Morse Kessler

  Oil, Water, Mixing

  8 Copy quote

• Mayonnaise, like hollandaise, was invented by the French to cover up the flavor of spoiled flesh, stale vegetables, rotten fish. Beware the sauce! Where food comes beslobbered with an elegant slime you may well suspect the integrity of the basic ingredients.

  Edward Abbey

  Integrity, Vegetables, Cover Ups

  8 Copy quote

• I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.

  Richard Simmons

  Exercise, Childhood, Trying

  "Richard Simmons On The Best Advice He Ever Got". The Huffington Post Interview, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 27, 2012.

  58 Copy quote

  Show source

• What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Disappointment, Ingredients, Dressings

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Sep 17, 2011

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I keep looking for ultimate answers, but maybe there aren't any or maybe I'm not looking in the right places, because in the section marked ANSWERS in the back of my geometry book, there's only a bunch of numbers, and all I can find to stare at in the refrigerator is five carrots and a jar of no-fat mayonnaise.

  Rachel Vail

  Book, Numbers, Answers

  9 Copy quote

• Sometimes it's just 'Oh my God, I love the taste of fried oysters on French bread with mayonnaise and an order of French fries.' I'm not going to lie to you - I deal with that temptation every single day, many times.

  Richard Simmons

  Lying, Order, Oysters

  Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.menshealth.com. April 25, 2012.

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• I remember the stink of the liverwurst.
  How I was put on a platter and laid
  between the mayonnaise and the bacon.
  The rhythm of the refrigerator
  had been disturbed.

  Anne Sexton

  Remember, Eating, Refrigerators

  Anne Sexton, Diane Wood Middlebrook, Diana Hume George (2000). “Selected Poems of Anne Sexton”, p.205, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• I've been craving peanut butter-and-mayonnaise fried cheese sandwiches.

  Anna Nicole Smith

  Cheese Sandwiches, Peanut Butter, Peanuts

  26 Copy quote

• In Germany, salads are assemblies of ham and mayonnaise, not trendy tossed leaves.

  Rachel Johnson

  Germany, Ham, Salad

  8 Copy quote

• My notion of an elegant table is you don't leave the knife sticking out of the mayonnaise jar.

  Sue Grafton

  Knives, Tables, Jars

  Sue Grafton (2011). “D is for Deadbeat”, p.112, Pan Macmillan

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Use, Okay, Ifs

  6 Copy quote

• A hippo sandwich is easy to make. All you do is simply take one slice of bread, one slice of cake, some mayonnaise, one onion ring, one hippopotamus, one piece of string, a dash of pepper. That ought to do it. And now comes the problem... biting into it!

  Shel Silverstein

  Food, Cake, Cooking

  Shel Silverstein, “Recipe For A Hippopotamus Sandwich”

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• My favorite snack would have to be Fritos, no doubt about it. Fritos and mayonnaise. I know. Really healthy, isn't it?

  Sylvester Stallone

  Snacks, Healthy, Doubt

  ABC NEWS PrimeTime Q&A, abcnews.go.com. January 6, 2006.

  7 Copy quote

  Show source