Masturbation Quotes - Page 2

• The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

  Patrick Murray

  Leisure Activities, Computer, Internet

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• A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.

  Karl Kraus

  Sex, Substitutes

  Karl Kraus (1976). “Half-truths & one-and-a-half truths: selected aphorisms”

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• Self improvement is masturbation.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Self, Cynical, Development

  Chuck Palahniuk (2014). “Beautiful You: A Novel”, p.199, Anchor

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• I was an altar boy, a spokesperson for the Virgin Mary, I was a choir boy but then at the age of 14 I discovered masturbation and all that went out the window.

  Guillermo del Toro

  Boys, Age, Window

  Interview with Daniel Robert Epstein, www.suicidegirls.com. November 3, 2003.

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• Masturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that's inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives.

  Betty Dodson

  Suffering, Firsts, Natural

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• We all have our individual romantic or idealistic ideas. To get information that masturbation is our basic form of sex is hard, because who wants to admit they're masturbating?

  Betty Dodson

  Sex, Ideas, Want

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• Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Fun, Thinking, Should

  Chuck Palahniuk (1999). “Survivor: A Novel”, Anchor

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• I do not need a man. I am devoted to masturbation. I think it's probably one of the most pleasurable experiences in life.

  Gloria Stuart

  Men, Thinking, Needs

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• I wanna go south and get some more. Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine, they say I better stop or I'll go blind.

  Cyndi Lauper

  Hey, Stitches, Nine

  Song: She Bop, Album: She's So Unusual

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• [Norman Mailer] is against masturbation, he's against homosexuality. He believes that murder is essentially sexual. I think he's rather an anthology of all the darkest American traits.

  Gore Vidal

  Believe, Thinking, Murder

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.

  Milos Forman

  Sex, Funny Sex, Having Sex

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• Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty weird.

  Betty Dodson

  Dirty, Teaching, Thinking

  "Betty Dodson's Feminist Sex Wars". Interview with Melissa Gira Grant, www.truth-out.org. December 16, 2013.

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• Every time you open the paper now, there seems to be another celebrity getting arrest for masturbation. First, it was Peewee Herman and then George Michael. If masturbation's a crime, I should be on death row.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  Paper, Firsts, Crime

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• Every time I talk to a fancy journalist and they ask what I do in my free time my scumbag brain goes 'say masturbate, it'll be hilarious'.

  Anna Kendrick

  Brain, Fancy, Scumbags

  Twitter post from Sep 24, 2012

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• If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

  Jeremy Piven

  Crime, Should, Death Row

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• When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women.

  Julie Burchill

  Sex, Betrayal, War

  "Damaged Gods: Cults and Heroes Reappraised". Book by Julie Burchill, 1986.

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• Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

  Mark Twain

  Bible, Girl, Children

  Mark Twain (1995). “The Bible According to Mark Twain: Writings on Heaven, Eden, and the Flood”, p.256, University of Georgia Press

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• No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very nasty. It's what we all have in common. That, and masturbation.

  Jon Stewart

  Race, People, Matter

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• Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.
  I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
  If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
  I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
  My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
  Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Funny, Beautiful

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• Masturbation! The amazing availability of it!

  James Joyce

  Drinking, Availability

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• Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

  Dana Gould

  Mean, Bed, Ends

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Aug 04, 2013

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• Call you up in the middle of the night. It's awful hard trying to make love long distance, but I really need stimulation.

  Billy Joel

  Distance, Night, Long

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• Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.

  Dudley Moore

  Safe, Want, Persons

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• I always give three pieces of advice to all the teenage girls when I do my talks: long country walks - it's important to get some fresh air in your lungs, and be in contact with your body; masturbation - it takes the edge off, it'll get you through; and the revolution - believing in changing the world.

  Caitlin Moran

  Girl, Country, Teenage

  Source: www.buzzfeed.com

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• Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.

  Mason Cooley

  Secret, Pleasure, Contempt

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