Jury Duty Quotes

• When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

  Norm Crosby

  Funny, Hilarious, Smart

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• Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.

  George Carlin

  Lying, People, Judging

  "George Carlin: What Am I Doing in New Jersey?". TV Special, www.imdb.com. June 12, 1988.

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• I consider trial by jury as the only anchor ever yet imagined by man, by which a government can be held to the principles of its constitution.

  Thomas Jefferson

  Men, Anchors, Law

  Thomas Jefferson, Henry Augustine Washington (1859). “The Writings of Thomas Jefferson: Correspondence”, p.71

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• Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

  Dan Castellaneta

  Race, Funny Simpsons, Easy

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcastic, Law, Duty

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• To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

  John Mortimer

  Hate, England, Hats

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• It is not only the juror's right, but his duty to find the verdict according to his own best understanding, judgment and conscience, though in direct opposition to the instruction of the court.

  John Adams

  War, Understanding, Drug

  "Justice Often Served By Jury Nullification". www.foxnews.com. August 01, 2005.

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• Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.

  Woody Allen

  People, Suffering, Tragedy

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Well I was on the jury duty on the Deauville Film Festival, a few years ago.

  Liam Neeson

  Years, Festivals, Film

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• You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Grades

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• Jurors should acquit, even against the judge's instruction . . . if exercising their judgment with discretion and honesty they have a clear conviction the charge of the court is wrong.

  Alexander Hamilton

  Honesty, War, Exercise

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• Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.

  Dana Gould

  Life Is Like, Reality Bites, Duty

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• The great thing about our system of democracy is when they call you for jury duty, you have to come... It's an honor and a privilege. I was called and I've got to be here.

  Antonio Villaraigosa

  Honor, Democracy, Privilege

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• To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail one day and say, 'Aw, sh - , I'm secretary of state next month.

  Wanda Sykes

  Office, Political, One Day

  "Is Washington ready for Wanda?" by Patrick Gavin, www.politico.com. March 20, 2009.

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• It's rare to find someone excited over jury duty. If they're out there, I've never met them. Not a one. When the summons for jury duty arrives in the mail, how many people scream, 'Yes!' and run to clear the calendar? None. Our first and only reaction is, 'Oh, no,' quickly followed by, 'How can I get out of this?'

  Regina Brett

  Running, People, Calendars

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• Along with voting, jury duty, and paying taxes, goofing off is one of the central obligations of American citizenship.

  Sarah Vowell

  Voting, Paying Taxes, Citizenship

  Sarah Vowell (2003). “The Partly Cloudy Patriot”, p.61, Simon and Schuster

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• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• If the question [before justices of the peace] relate to any point of public liberty, or if it be one of those in which the judges may be suspected of bias, the jury undertake to decide both law and fact.

  Thomas Jefferson

  Law, Judging, Justice

  Thomas Jefferson (2010). “The Works of Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Virginia II, Correspondence 1782-1786”, p.37, Cosimo, Inc.

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• I got put on jury duty, which is where I learned how to write.

  David O. Russell

  Writing, Duty, Jury

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• I had only been a citizen for two weeks when I received a summons to appear for jury duty!

  Alex Trebek

  Two, Citizens, Week

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• Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Running, Self, People

  "How to interview P.J. O’Rourke on drugs while getting your mind blown and not embarrass yourself". Interview with Mike Riggs, dailycaller.com. November 5, 2010.

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• I got jury duty and I didn't want to go, so my friend said, "You should write something really really racist on the form when you return it. Like, you should put 'I hate chinks'." And I said, "I'm not going to put that on there just to get out of jury duty. I don't want people to think that about me." So instead I wrote, "I love chinks." And who doesn't?

  Sarah Silverman

  Funny, Hate, Writing

  "Conan" with Conan O'Brien, July 11, 2001.

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• Raise your hand if you had no idea you’d see so much nudity in one week of jury duty.” Twelve hands flew straight into the air. And unbelievably, Payton laughed.

  Julie James

  Air, Hands, Ideas

  Julie James (2009). “Practice Makes Perfect”, p.107, Penguin

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• I don't get into politics, general or musical, but just call me if you get jury duty. Even in New Jersey I was able to help somebody.

  Eugene Ormandy

  Funny, Musical, Jersey

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• I vote and I do jury duty.

  Christopher Hitchens

  Vote, Duty, Jury

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