Funny Wedding Quotes - Page 3

• After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

  Hemant Joshi

  Marriage, Clever, Husband

  39 Copy quote

• In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.

  Helen Rowland

  Funny, Marriage, Sacrifice

  10 Copy quote

• The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Marriage

  135 Copy quote
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  A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Love, Relationship, Anniversary

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.32, BookBaby

  152 Copy quote

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• A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

  Andre Maurois

  Love, Happiness, Anniversary

  46 Copy quote

• I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  111 Copy quote

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• Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

  Albert Einstein

  Change, Marriage, Valentines Day

  82 Copy quote

• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Family, Marriage, Funny Love

  Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1738

  41 Copy quote

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• Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

  Billy Connolly

  Marriage, Funny Love, Wedding

  Twitter post from Sep 12, 2011

  19 Copy quote

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• An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

  Agatha Christie

  Love, Funny, Birthday

  Attributed in Bennett Cerf, The Life of the Party (1956)

  143 Copy quote

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• Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Marriage

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  63 Copy quote

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• Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

  Samuel Johnson

  Marriage, Wedding, Pain

  Rasselas ch. 26 (1759)

  16 Copy quote

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• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

  Henny Youngman

  Love, Anniversary, Marriage

  Forbes Magazine, Volume 166 (p. 156), 2000.

  75 Copy quote

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  Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

  Mae West

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  I'm No Angel (motion picture) (1933). Nigel Rees, in his Quote ... Unquote Newsletter, has found this joke appearing earlier in the cartoon "Pop" in 1921: "woman: 'You say what you like, Pop! Marriage is a jolly good institution!' POP: 'Yes! But who wants to live in an institution?"

  68 Copy quote

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• A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

  Michel de Montaigne

  Anniversary, Marriage, Wedding

  Attributed to "Essais" by Michel de Montaigne, Book I, Ch. 20, 1595.

  82 Copy quote

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• My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.

  Joyce Brothers

  Marriage, Husband, Divorce

  27 Copy quote

• A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Marriage, Funny Love, Men

  Ralph Waldo Emerson, Alfred R. Ferguson (1965). “Journals and Miscellaneous Notebooks of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Volume V: 1835-1838”, p.199, Harvard University Press

  22 Copy quote

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• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  258 Copy quote

• In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

  Woody Allen

  Marriage, Funny Love, Best Love

  20 Copy quote

• The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

  Groucho Marx

  Marriage, Funny Love, Wedding

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  69 Copy quote

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• A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

  Frank Sinatra

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  90 Copy quote

• A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

  Evan Esar

  Husband, Fire, Funny Wedding Toast

  9 Copy quote

• The surest way to be alone is to get married.

  Gloria Steinem

  Marriage, Single, Wedding

  8 Copy quote

• Oh! How many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring.

  Colley Cibber

  Marriage, Wedding, Lying

  'The Double Gallant' (1707) act 1, sc. 2

  18 Copy quote

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• In the end, it's all about perseverance.

  Dean Koontz

  Perseverance, Ends

  15 Copy quote