Funny Wedding Quotes - Page 2

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day

  102 Copy quote

• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

  Red Skelton

  Inspiration, Divorce, Names

  68 Copy quote
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  In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

  Robert Anderson

  Love, Inspirational, Anniversary

  62 Copy quote

• For the taxable investor, indexing means never having to say you're sorry.

  William J. Bernstein

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  26 Copy quote

• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

  106 Copy quote

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• You know you're in love when you stop comparing.

  Mason Cooley

  Love, Romantic, Wedding

  56 Copy quote

• Marriage is like a hot bath; once you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

  Minnie Pearl

  Wedding, Religion, Hot

  49 Copy quote

• Being an American means never having to say you're sorry.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  Kurt Vonnegut (1997). “Hocus Pocus”, p.70, Penguin

  26 Copy quote

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• It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel - they get to know each other better.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Marriage, Husband, Wife

  27 Copy quote

• Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.

  Minnie Pearl

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  28 Copy quote

• My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.

  Armistead Maupin

  Marriage, Mother, Couple

  Armistead Maupin (1989). “Tales of the city ; More tales of the city ; Further tales of the city: an omnibus”, Vintage

  7 Copy quote

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• Avant-garde means never having to say you're sorry.

  Marc Ribot

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  28 Copy quote

• I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Marriage, Inspiration, Sleep

  921 Copy quote

• Vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

  Larry Adler

  Love, Movie, Romantic

  Larry Adler, Philip Judge (1994). “Me and My Big Mouth”, Blake Pub

  42 Copy quote

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• Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  Ralph Waldo Emerson (2014). “The Heart of Emerson's Journals”, p.247, Courier Corporation

  7 Copy quote

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• I asked you here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

  Graeme Simsion

  Love, Cute, Romantic

  Graeme Simsion (2014). “The Rosie Project: A Novel”, p.267, Simon and Schuster

  20 Copy quote

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• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

  Albert Einstein

  Love, Inspirational, Romantic

  40 Copy quote

• Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

  Richard Pryor

  Marriage, Funny Love, Love You

  Quoted in Robert Byrne, The Third and Possibly the Best 637 Things Anybody Ever Said (1986)

  54 Copy quote

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• Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Funny, Marriage, Wedding

  Quoted in Newsweek, 28 Mar. 1960

  30 Copy quote

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• Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Marriage, Pain

  Rita Rudner (2008). “I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething”, p.86, Crown Archetype

  34 Copy quote

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• The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.

  Gabriel Garcia Marquez

  Marriage, Wedding, Morning

  Love in the Time of Cholera (1985)

  11 Copy quote

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• Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Marriage, Wedding, Opportunity

  Man and Superman "Maxims for Revolutionists" (1903)

  19 Copy quote

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• The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

  Peter De Vries

  Relationship, Anniversary, Marriage

  19 Copy quote

• 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic

  57 Copy quote

• Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Marriage, Women

  85 Copy quote