Funny Wedding Toast Quotes

• It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

  Robert Frost

  Marriage, Funny Love, Wedding

  26 Copy quote

• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

  34 Copy quote

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• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

  Red Skelton

  Inspiration, Divorce, Names

  68 Copy quote

• Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

  Ogden Nash

  Inspirational, Life, Marriage

  Ogden Nash, “A Word To Husbands”

  73 Copy quote

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• In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

  Woody Allen

  Marriage, Funny Love, Best Love

  20 Copy quote

• A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Marriage, Funny Love, Men

  Ralph Waldo Emerson, Alfred R. Ferguson (1965). “Journals and Miscellaneous Notebooks of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Volume V: 1835-1838”, p.199, Harvard University Press

  22 Copy quote

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• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Life, Marriage

  "The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America". Book by Lawrence J. Epstein, 2001.

  33 Copy quote

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• Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.

  William Wordsworth

  I Love You, Birthday, Marriage

  244 Copy quote

• They do not love that do not show their love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Marriage, Valentines Day

  William Shakespeare, Edmond Malone, James Boswell, Samuel Johnson, Mr. Theobald (Lewis) (1821). “The Plays and Poems of William Shakspeare: With the Corrections and Illustrations of Various Commentators”, p.20

  77 Copy quote

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• The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.

  Shirley MacLaine

  Funny, Anniversary, Husband

  28 Copy quote

• We never live so intensely as when we love strongly. We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in full glow of love for others.

  Walter Rauschenbusch

  Wedding, Realizing, Reception

  72 Copy quote
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  There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

  Homer

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  Homer (1983). “The Odyssey”, Outlet

  78 Copy quote

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• A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  In Newsweek 28 Mar. 1960, p. 89

  178 Copy quote

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• Love is the beauty of the soul.

  Saint Augustine

  Love, Romantic, Beauty

  "The Little Book of Bathroom Philosophy: Daily Wisdom from the Greatest Thinkers". Book by Gregory Bergman, 2004.

  62 Copy quote

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• You know you're in love when you stop comparing.

  Mason Cooley

  Love, Romantic, Wedding

  56 Copy quote

• If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

  A. A. Milne

  Love, Friendship, Birthday

  "Winnie-the-Pooh: The House at Pooh Corner". Book by A. A. Milne, 1928.

  146 Copy quote

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• 

  One word
  Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
  That word is love.

  Sophocles

  Love, Life, Wedding

  "Oedipus at Colonus". Play by Sophocles, Lines 1616-1618,

  236 Copy quote

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  Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  Love, Inspirational, Life

  Terre des Hommes ch. 8 (1939)

  217 Copy quote

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• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  258 Copy quote

• Marriage is like a golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity.

  Khalil Gibran

  Love, Marriage, Wedding

  15 Copy quote

• I asked you here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

  Graeme Simsion

  Love, Cute, Romantic

  Graeme Simsion (2014). “The Rosie Project: A Novel”, p.267, Simon and Schuster

  20 Copy quote

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• Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Marriage, Pain

  Rita Rudner (2008). “I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething”, p.86, Crown Archetype

  34 Copy quote

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  Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.

  Saint Augustine

  Love, Beauty, Wedding

  "The Little Book of Bathroom Philosophy: Daily Wisdom from the Greatest Thinkers". Book by Gregory Bergman, 2004.

  134 Copy quote

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• Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

  Emily Bronte

  Love, Romantic, Anniversary

  Wuthering Heights ch. 9 (1847)

  105 Copy quote

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• When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

  Nora Ephron

  Love, Life, Relationship

  Nora Ephron (2011). “When Harry Met Sally. . .”, p.97, Knopf

  126 Copy quote

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