Funny Sarcastic Quotes - Page 3

• My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Beer, Smoking

  Uttered during a lunch with the Arab leader, Ibn Saud

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• Alcohol doesn't console, it doesn't fill up anyone's psychological gaps, all it replaces is the lack of God. It doesn't comfort man. On the contrary, it encourages him in his folly, it transports him to the supreme regions where he is master of his own destiny.

  Marguerite Duras

  Destiny, Men, Alcohol

  Marguerite Duras (1993). “Practicalities”, p.17, Grove Press

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• Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.

  Sammy Davis, Jr.

  Patience, Drinking, Giving

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• Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Life, Sarcastic, Wisdom

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  Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

  Frank Sinatra

  Love, Bible, Sarcastic

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• I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

  George Gobel

  Drinking, Beer, Drunk

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Drinking, Beer, Animal

  All Things Considered (1908) "Wine When it is Red"

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• I drink to make other people interesting.

  George Jean Nathan

  Drinking, Book, Beer

  George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

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• I don't even drink! I can't stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year's Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don't touch booze - I'm always the designated driver.

  Kim Kardashian

  New Year, Years, Sick

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• I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

  Oscar Levant

  Drinking, Beer, People

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• As women slowly gain power, their values and priorities are reshaping the agenda. A multitude of studies show that when women control the family funds, they generally spend more on health, nutrition, and education - and less on alcohol and cigarettes.

  Dee Dee Myers

  Priorities, Alcohol, Agendas

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• As we celebrate Recovery Month, it is time for Congress to knock down the barriers to treatment and recovery for 26 million Americans suffering the ravages of alcohol and drug addiction.

  Jim Ramstad

  Recovery, Addiction, Alcohol

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• There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.

  Edward Lucas

  Sleep, Insomnia, Naps

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• When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

  Jimmy Breslin

  Drinking, Food, Beer

  Jimmy Breslin (1986). “Table money”

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• Don't take life too seriously.

  RuPaul

  Life, Sarcastic, Funny Inspirational

  RuPaul (2010). “Workin' It!: RuPaul's Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style”, p.12, Harper Collins

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• When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Flames, Ideas, Alcohol

  "Charmed Circle: Gertrude Stein and Company". Book by James R. Mellow, 1974.

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• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

  Margaret Mead

  Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

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• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  In Leo Rosten People I have Loved, Known or Admired (1970) "Groucho"

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• Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

  Max Eastman

  Laughter, Pain, Humor

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• I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.

  Frank A. Clark

  Laughter, Life And Love, Humor

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• A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Drinking, Book

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• If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.

  Dick Gregory

  Alcohol, Drug, Tanks

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• Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

  Lord Byron

  Drinking, Beer, Men

  'Don Juan' (1819-24) canto 2, st. 179

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• Our national drug is alcohol. We tend to regard the use of any other drug with special horror.

  William S. Burroughs

  Alcohol, Drug, Special

  "Naked Lunch" by William S. Burroughs, Grove Press, (p. 201), 1959.

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• Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Fear, Drinking, Two

  The Twilight of the Idols

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