Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt
What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.
I think all good drama is funny. All the best drama is ultimately very funny. Life is funny. You can't have any honest treatise on life without bumping into some humor.
When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them.
Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail.
Life is an incurable disease.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
We are all here on earth to help others.
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
Life is just one damned thing after another.
I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.
I tried to be normal once... worst two minutes of my life.
Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.
I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
Don't take life too seriously.
The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.
What fills us is real, sweet, dopey, funny life.
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