Checks Quotes - Page 24

• I went up on stage, and said, "Why did the chicken cross the road? To check out the chicks." I was a genius at 10. Try telling that at 21, and you look hacky and stupid. That was the only joke I've ever told. Everything since has been character voices, doing impressions or just telling stories.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  Stupid, Character, Voice

  "Gabriel Iglesias talks about 'The Fluffy Movie', his life and cake". Interview with Jeff Mitchell, www.phoenixfilmfestival.com. July 22, 2014.

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• AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Humor, Offering

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• If you want to deal with me, email is the way you do it. Working via email means that everything I do is searchable. I can go back and check out discussion threads from more than 15 years ago.

  Mark Cuban

  Mean, Years, Email

  Source: elitedaily.com

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• Women come into marriage with great inflated expectations for what they want this relationship to be, and men don't give it that much thought. Men come into it with reluctance about being capsized or trapped or whatever their fear is. When you check in later, women are disappointed because their expectations have not come to pass, and men are pleasantly surprised.

  Elizabeth Gilbert

  Men, Expectations, Giving

  Source: www.goodreads.com

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• I've been typed as a horror writer, and I've always said to people, "I don't care what you call me as long as the checks don't bounce and the family gets fed."

  Stephen King

  Long, People, Care

  "A Rare Interview with Master Storyteller Stephen King". Interview with Ken Tucker, parade.com. May 25, 2013.

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• I did a couple of writing seminars in Canada with high school kids. These were the bright kids; they all have computers, but they can't spell. Because spell-check won't [help] you if you don't know through from threw. I told them, "If you can read in the 21st century, you own the world." Because you learn to write from reading.

  Stephen King

  Couple, Reading, School

  "A Rare Interview with Master Storyteller Stephen King". Interview with Ken Tucker, parade.com. May 25, 2013.

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• The science of logic never made a man reason rightly, and the science of ethics never made a man behave rightly. The most such sciences can do is to help us to catch ourselves up and check ourselves, if we start to reason or to behave wrongly; and to criticise ourselves more articulately after we have made mistakes.

  William James

  Art, Mistake, Teaching

  William James (1983). “Talks to Teachers on Psychology and to Students on Some of Life's Ideals”, p.15, Harvard University Press

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• Unsuccessful people get up whenever they feel like it and the first thing they do is watch television, read the paper, or check email. The rest of the day is pretty much 50% below maximum performance.

  Brian Tracy

  People, Email, Watches

  Source: www.webpagefx.com

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• Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "Chris Rock: Never Scared". TV Special, April 17, 2004.

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• Society has to be structured such that there are checks and balances, so that it can't be manipulated, for instance, for the profit of just some multinational company who's going to get rich on trying to legislate the environment.

  Greg Graffin

  Balance, Trying, Environment

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I might have tried bungee jumping, until I saw that video of that guy whose cord came untied. He didn't know it 'till he hit the ground. Oh, he flew off that tower, hollering at his buddies. "Whoo, check me out, dudes! Oh, that ground is coming up..." WHAM! And what do you say, if you're the operator of that ride, to the next guy in line? "All right dude, you're up."

  Bill Engvall

  Funny, Humor, Jumping

  FaceBook post by Bill Engvall from Mar 22, 2013

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• The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Two

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• Investors will sort of like write the check and then, despite a lot of promises, don't usually do that much; sometimes they do.

  Sam Altman

  Team, Writing, Promise

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• I think my cheerfulness keeps my writing from sinking into the depths of melancholy, while the darker side keeps in check any literary silliness I might be inclined toward.

  David Starkey

  Writing, Thinking, Depth

  Source: andreaauten.wordpress.com

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• It's a profoundly different thing to be able to refer to the images you are taking at the time and check them out on a laptop that is plugged into your Hasselblad and go "oh no, do it again, do it again" - all of those a requickly made decisions. The fact that you can see the images right away in a funny way makes the whole relationship more casual. I don't want a casual relationship with my subject.

  Bill Henson

  Decision, Different, Want

  Source: www.americansuburbx.com

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• It is from the power of taxation being in the hands of those who can throw so great a part of it from their own shoulders, that it has raged without a check.

  Thomas Paine

  Hands, Political, Taxation

  Thomas Paine (1848). “Rights of Man: Being an Answer to Mr. Burke's Attack on the French Revolution”, p.129

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• The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "Well, I don't grow corn. Get up at the crack of noon, make sure there's no corn growing. I'm gonna get up early tomorrow. And not plow. You know, we used to not grow tomatoes-but there's more money in not growing corn."

  Brian Regan

  Funny, Up Early, Government

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• Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. "This is Sleeping, right?" "Exactly." "I just lie here?" "That's right." "Okay." Then back to sleep they go.

  Paul Reiser

  Funny, Baby, Children

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• I've got a strength and conditioning coach, a weights coach, but I've also got a nutritionist, a physiotherapist and a masseur available to me if I need it. It's quite a good network. I've also got sports scientists who record the technical information, so that, after the race, we can analyse the video and check comparisons between, not only me and the other competitors, but me and my best performance. I couldn't do it without these guys, but I'm the one who gets all the credit.

  Liam Tancock

  Sports, Race, Guy

  Source: www.bbc.co.uk

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• During the course of the year a number of ideas just come up automatically. I could be walking down the street. Or shaving. An idea will hit me and I'll write it down. Then, when I'm ready to write, I check my little matchbooks and napkins and find that it is good or it's pretty terrible. There are other times when I don't have any ideas and I'll go into a room and close the door and I sit and sweat it out for a day or a month and eventually I come up with [something].

  Woody Allen

  Writing, Doors, Years

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• I have to keep myself in check when I go to the kids' sports events. I sit waaay in the back. I make sure I don't do too much cheering, you know what I mean? I'm still not quite adjusted to this modern school of thought: Oh, it doesn't matter who wins. I'm not all the way there yet, but I accept it from the back row.

  Jack Nicholson

  Sports, Cheer, School

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• You have no idea what's going to happen [in Downton Abbey] until you get the script. We roughly knew a couple of the key points that were going to happen, but when I got the last episode, I turned to the last page to check that I was still alive.

  Hugh Bonneville

  Couple, Keys, Ideas

  "Hugh Bonneville Talks ‘Downton Abbey’, The Final Season, Julian Fellowes, and More". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. September 28, 2015.

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• Unless you can point to something that I have done or said that has changed the course of the public opinion in a negative way, you've got to check yourself sometimes and say, "Maybe I don't like the way that this thing is said, but it's expanding tolerance." If I said something that was shutting down something that was positive, call me out, but I don't really see me doing that.

  Lizz Winstead

  Tolerance, Public Opinion, Negative

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

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• Being able to check your balance on the phone is the best invention ever.

  Lemar

  Phones, Balance, Able

  Source: www.telegraph.co.uk

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• My work is very dear to me, and certainly I have had all the emotional highs and lows that go with trying to get it to an audience. But I do have some kind of detachment that seems somewhat unusual in my trade. I'm a writer who writes every day. I don't have a period of months where I can't get anything done and I wander around tearing my hair out. When I come back from a book tour, for instance, I might have one day where I sleep late and then check my e-mail, and then go for a walk, and then the next day I'm really itching to get back at writing a story.

  Daniel Handler

  Book, Writing, Sleep

  Interview with Tasha Robinson, www.avclub.com. November 16, 2005.

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