Candy Bar Quotes

• I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Glasses

  92 Copy quote

• You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

  George Carlin

  Feelings, Chocolate, Bars

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

  32 Copy quote

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• No candy bars unless I've had a low blood sugar where I'm shaky

  Mary Tyler Moore

  Blood, Bars, Sugar

  9 Copy quote

• I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Fall, Humor

  70 Copy quote

• October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace!

  Rainbow Rowell

  Autumn, Nurse, Grace

  20 Copy quote

• We went from candy bars, to handle bars, to hangin' in bars, to being behind bars

  MF Grimm

  Rap, Hip Hop, Bars

  5 Copy quote

• We as parents are our children's first and best role models, and this is particularly true when it comes to their health. ...We can't lie around on the couch eating French fries and candy bars and expect our kids to eat carrots and run around the block.

  Michelle Obama

  Running, Children, Block

  6 Copy quote

• Truth-tellers are not always palatable. There is a preference for candy bars.

  Gwendolyn Brooks

  Truth, Teaching, Bars

  Gwendolyn Brooks (1988). “Gottschalk and the grande tarantelle”, Third World Pr

  81 Copy quote

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• If I could blame it on all the mothers and fathers of the world, they of the lessons, the pellets of power, they of the love surrounding you like batter ... Blame it on God perhaps? He of the first opening that pushed us all into our first mistakes? No, I'll blame it on Man For Man is God and man is eating the earth up like a candy bar and not one of them can be left alone with the ocean for it is known he will gulp it all down. The stars (possibly) are safe. At least for the moment. The stars are pears that no one can reach, even for a wedding. Perhaps for a death.

  Anne Sexton

  Mother, Stars, Father

  Anne Sexton (1975). “The Awful Rowing Toward God”, Boston : Houghton Mifflin

  9 Copy quote

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• He handed her the other half of his candy bar. She stared at it like it was a brick of gold. "I'm on a diet." But she took it. "A see-food diet, apparently. I see food and I eat it.

  Jill Shalvis

  Gold, Bars, Half

  5 Copy quote

• Well, let's see, I found out Pagan has low blood sugar and becomes a complete b--witch if she doesn't eat a candy bar during a stressful moment.

  Abbi Glines

  Blood, Bars, Sugar

  4 Copy quote

• You know, people always warn children about taking candy from strange adults. But they never warn us adults about taking candy from strange children. All those sweet-looking kids who sell boxes of candy bars on the street to help pay for schooling - how do we know what's in those bars? And don't even get me stated on that nefarious institution designed to lure unsuspecting customers into buying mysterious frosted goodies: the bake sale. Adults, be warned: if a child wanted to poison you it would be a piece of cake! Literally a piece of cake.

  Pseudonymous Bosch

  Sweet, Children, Kids

  9 Copy quote

• Years are like candy bars... We're paying more, but they're getting shorter.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Years, Bars, Candy

  7 Copy quote

• Whoa," Connor Stoll said. "Back up. Zoom in right there." "What?" Annabeth said nervously. "You see invaders?" "No, right there—Dylan's Candy Bar." Connor grinned at his brother. "Dude, it's open. And everyone is asleep. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Connor!" Katie Gardner scolded. She sounded like her mother, Demeter. "This is serious. You are not going to loot a candy store in the middle of a war!" "Sorry," Connor muttered, but he didn't sound very ashamed.

  Rick Riordan

  Mother, Brother, Sorry

  4 Copy quote

• Any good Irwin can make going to the corner store for a candy bar and a Coke lood death defying and suicidal.

  Mira Grant

  Suicidal, Bars, Coke

  4 Copy quote

• You're not looking for a partner," Ranger said. "You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar?" "Everything," I said. "I just ate everything.

  Janet Evanovich

  Running, Hate, Cake

  Janet Evanovich (2010). “High Five”, p.85, Farrar, Straus, and Giroux

  4 Copy quote

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• The Kit Kat candy bar has the name Kit Kat imprinted into the chocolate. That robs you of chocolate! That's a clever chocolate-saving technique.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Clever, Humor

  "Mitch All Together". Live Album by Mitch Hedberg, 2003.

  20 Copy quote

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• I was just a kid. I think I stole a candy bar. I remember feeling so terrible. It was the worst shock. I was probably 7. That's my least favorite feeling: guilt.

  Amy Sedaris

  Kids, Thinking, Feelings

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

  10 Copy quote

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• If you eat one less candy bar or donut a day, you're doing your body some good.

  Louise Hay

  Bars, Body, Donuts

  Source: www.beliefnet.com

  4 Copy quote

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• I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Fall, Snacks, Machines

  7 Copy quote

• If I played in New York, they'd name a candy bar after me.

  Reggie Jackson

  New York, Yankees, Names

  Quoted in Wash. Post, 15 Apr. 1976

  21 Copy quote

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• I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Mean

  10 Copy quote

• I don't really have one type favorite type of candy. When I was younger we used to always go to the rich neighborhoods where they give out the big candy bars, not the little fun-sized ones. We'd go back two and three times, hit them again and again. They didn't care and we loved it.

  Tony Harrison

  Fun, Two, Giving

  4 Copy quote

• I like crazy, childlike, candy bar-filled cakes with gooey caramel, chocolate-covered nuts, marshmallows, and the like.

  Ron Ben-Israel

  Wedding, Crazy, Nuts

  "Wedding Cakes: Designer Ron Ben Israel Talks Money-Saving Tricks, Fresh Flavor Ideas, and More!" by Meredith Bodgas, www.glamour.com. July 19, 2010.

  19 Copy quote

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• I remembered my New Orleans days, living on two five-cent candy bars a day for weeks at a time in order to have leisure to write. But starvation, unfortunately, didn't improve art. It only hindered it. A man's soul was rooted in his stomach. A man could write much better after eating a porterhouse steak and drinking a pint of whiskey than he could ever write after eating a nickel candy bar. The myth of the starving artist was a hoax.

  Charles Bukowski

  Art, Drinking, Writing

  "Factotum". Book by Charles Bukowski, Ch. 29, 1975.

  52 Copy quote

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