Roseanne Barr Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.

  Roseanne Barr

  Sick, Love And Marriage

  9 Copy quote

• I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.

  Roseanne Barr

  Differences, Sometimes, Ill

  7 Copy quote

• I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.

  Roseanne Barr

  Funny, Family, Mom

  8 Copy quote

• Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Space, House

  7 Copy quote

• I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.

  Roseanne Barr

  Jobs, Kids, Parenting

  17 Copy quote

• I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.

  Roseanne Barr

  Want, Hell, Politician

  Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.esquire.com. April 25, 2013.

  7 Copy quote

• Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.

  Roseanne Barr

  Lonely, Writing, Thinking

  11 Copy quote

• Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.

  Roseanne Barr

  Country, Adults, Want

  "Barr tells 'The Doctors' to legalize it" by Patrick Gavin, www.politico.com. October 24, 2012.

  15 Copy quote

• I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.

  Roseanne Barr

  Fun, People, Want

  11 Copy quote

• My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.

  Roseanne Barr

  Kids, Weekend, Fifteen

  10 Copy quote

• I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'

  Roseanne Barr

  Proud, Lobotomy, Fine

  10 Copy quote

• My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

  Roseanne Barr

  Marriage, Suicide, Husband

  "Heard the one about ..." by Andy Barker, www.theguardian.com. March 11, 2006.

  12 Copy quote

• Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why drugs like Vicodin are legal.

  Roseanne Barr

  Thinking, Drug, Mind

  Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.esquire.com. April 25, 2013.

  6 Copy quote

• Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.

  Roseanne Barr

  Done, Firsts, Los Angeles

  9 Copy quote

• A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms up either?

  Roseanne Barr

  Men, Arms, Very Sad

  7 Copy quote

• Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men.

  Roseanne Barr

  Philosophy, Food, Thinking

  18 Copy quote

• Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

  Roseanne Barr

  Believe, Space, Trying

  24 Copy quote

• Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

  Roseanne Barr

  Funny Inspirational, Children, Anger

  24 Copy quote

• I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.

  Roseanne Barr

  Biology, Menopause, Enjoy

  9 Copy quote

• Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.

  Roseanne Barr

  Play, Body, Instruments

  5 Copy quote

• The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

  Roseanne Barr

  Marriage, Sex, Food

  13 Copy quote

• I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.

  Roseanne Barr

  Thinking, Offers, Solutions

  "Q&A: Roseanne Barr, on marijuana, the CIA, and how she is, in fact, the president". Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.esquire.com. April 25, 2013.

  13 Copy quote

• Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.

  Roseanne Barr

  Book, Errors, Able

  Roseanne Barr (2012). “Roseannearchy: Dispatches from the Nut Farm”, p.10, Simon and Schuster

  13 Copy quote

• Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?

  Roseanne Barr

  Males, Female, Why Not

  "12 Crazy Things Presidential Candidate Roseanne Barr Has Said About The United States" by Jordan Teicher, www.businessinsider.com. February 3, 2012.

  9 Copy quote

• There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.

  Roseanne Barr

  Men, Old Man

  4 Copy quote

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