Roseanne Barr Quotes About Husband

Quotes about: Husband

• As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

  Roseanne Barr

  Inspirational, Jobs, Husband

• My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.

  Roseanne Barr

  Sex, Husband, Lasts

• This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: "Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left?" Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Thinking, Wife

• My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

  Roseanne Barr

  Marriage, Suicide, Husband

  "Heard the one about ..." by Andy Barker, www.theguardian.com. March 11, 2006.

• I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate evening with my husband, I was swept away by the passion (so dormant inside myself) of a long and tortured existence. The physical cravings I had tried so hard to deny, finally and ultimately sated ... But enough about the pork.

  Roseanne Barr

  Girl, Husband, Passion

• My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Church, Married

• I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Real, Writing

• Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Admire, Restraint

• Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Space, House

• My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Leaving, Infidelity

• My husband says, 'Roseanne, don't you think we ought to talk about our sexual problems?' Like I'm gonna turn off Wheel of Fortune for that.

  Roseanne Barr

  Husband, Thinking, Wheels

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin